Me vs. Tree

Well, I'll get right to the important stuff. I survived. The tree did not (actually, the tree was already dead so I should technically say that I am the last one standing).

I spent the weekend taking down the poor evergreen in the corner of my lot that never recovered after losing so many branches in the ice storm. Home Depot was gracious enough to let me ruin rent two Makita 20" chainsaws to get the job done. I took my time. I respected the chainsaw. I calculated how the tree was going to fall. And that son of a bitch fell perfectly.

The only mishap I suffered (besides the fact that the whole operation took a butt load more time than I had anticipated and whipped my ass into a new level of pain experience - this reminds me of "Heuser hurting" but takes it up even another notch) was a moment when the damn trunk of the tree, already defeated and laying on its side, decided to roll off the severed stump while I was cutting some limbs. The damn thing took me down - chainsaw in hand. It should have pinned me. It should have broken my leg. The still-running chainsaw should have really fucked me up. I guess it was the tree's last "Fuck You!" for taking it down (mind you, this is the same tree that Will fell out of a few summers back so I already had a bone to pick with it).

But I was fine. I turned the chainsaw off. Most important. Only slightly secondly most important was to find out if anyone saw my dumb ass. They had not. Whew! Next was to check if the leg was broken. It was not. It hurt - and still hurts - but it was alright. Next was to shimmy out of there and pretend like nothing ever happened.

So besides some sticks in the yard, some larger trunk pieces around the stump, and a ton of sawdust everything is just about taken care of. I've stashed the wood to be used in future fires. Will helped me get the loose branches off the lawn before the rain hit tonight. He also filled three buckets with smaller branches for future fire-starting. We'll need to make a run to the city lawn waste place (can't remember the name of it) but after that it is done.

(Don't even ask me about pulling the stump... I have NO CLUE!)

Black Friday - Mission Success

Jooj woke me up at 5:20AM and, after last night's experience, I was less than enthusiastic to get this thing going. We went back to sleep and woke up at 7AM.

We hit up Starbucks and moved on to Target. The movies on my list were not there. So I didn't have much else reason to stay. But Jooj wanted to shop. I was grumpy. We spent some money and moved on.

Walmart followed. Thankfully the mad house had taken its anti-crazy pills. I walked out of there after spending $28 and saving $31. Cool, eh?

Lowes was next. Best Buy came next. Toys R Us after that (walked in and walked out... that line was horrendous). Then we hit up the mall - Dillard's mostly.

We hit up Toast for lunch. I came home, took a shower, and napped for 2 hours. What a day!

Black Friday - Midnight Launch

Fuuuuuuck that.

First off, I walked outside to go to Walmart at 11:55 and it is a blizzard. Snow is coming down so hard I can barely see in front of me. Mind you, this is before I even get in the car. Looking through the windshield is no better. And it fogs up faster than... well I don't know but pretty fast. The roads were okay but the snow was coming down so hard. Maybe I should have taken this as a sign.

I reach Walmart and the lot is packed. Packed like Toys R Us. But there is no line since they are always open so I don't sweat it. I walk in and... whoah. Madness. Chaos. Packed carts. Rednecks. Slippery floors. That smell of cigarettes fused with clothing. Sweat. Ignorance. Fuuuuuuck me. This situation is already no good. I do my best to keep my shit together in this mad house and proceed toward the electronics section.

People are swarming. I'm getting bumped all over the place. People are rolling their carts filled with everything they can find. Some carts are empty. Some have sleeping babies (seriously, where's CPS?). I finally reach the electronics section and find that this is where the madness is centralized - this is the heart of darkness. And yet there is a calm. People are packed in but they aren't violently swarming over this or that. It's curious to me. I don't understand this calm. But it is soon evident what is going on.

Walmart, in all their wisdom, doesn't put out all of their merchandise. So these poor dudes are lugging huge cardboard display cases filled with DVDs, Blu-rays, and video games. When they come out they announce the general type of inventory and back away as quickly as possible. You see, I've never seen a school of piranha take down a cow but I can certainly imagine what it would look like. And this is probably the closest I can describe what happens to the poor cardboard case moments after its delivery. It's stripped bare.

I walked around for a while. Seriously, I was in a near state of shock. This behavior is just a sight to be seen.

I soon after tossed aside the two movies that weren't on my list but had picked up anyway and simply walked away. I'm not in any rush to wake up at the ass-crack of dawn to continue this Black Friday debacle. I think I've just about had my fill of Black Friday and haven't purchased a goddam thing yet.

Black Friday - Prelaunch

Black Friday was going to start at 10PM at Toys R Us. Jooj and I drove up and the lot was filled. I mean filled. People were having to park in other adjacent lots. The line spanned the front of the store, wrapped around the side of the building, and continued around the back. In the rain. And we had no umbrella. And after seeing that mob, I pretty much had no will to start Black Friday quite yet.

Next stop, Walmart after midnight. Then I hit the hay for a bit and start the morning with Target, Lowes, and Best Buy. Yay!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Oh yeah, and Happy Thanksgiving, ya'll!

4.625%

Oh man, that number is so much better than the two numbers it has replaced!

The refinance went through yesterday and I couldn't be more pleased with our finances. Even after paying bills off aggressively we are still looking good and stand to earn a tremendous surplus by the end of the year.

Of course, this forecast does not take into account the tuition for either child. So bye-bye surplus :)

I shot a bunch of kids tonight

And why am I not going to jail for my crimes? Because I shot them with reballs (reusable rubber paintballs), silly goose!

I took Will and his friends, Ian and Spencer, to Open Range for a little reball action tonight. Their friend Ross also joined us. And man, we had a real blast. I performed admirably, with an impressive KDR (kil-death ratio). Most games I would take out 2 or 3 people. I took out more sometimes. And sometimes I was out before scoring a kill. If I had to guess, I'd guess that I came out around 2.5:1 KDR. In fact, I even "tagged" a few kids - 2 in one match believe it or not (tagging is when you sneak up on them and yell "TAG" at point-blank range, thus eliminating them without firing your weapon).

Looking forward to doing it again!

Did I mention?

That I attended my fourth midnight release Monday to pick up Assassin's Creed: Brotherood for Will? For those of you keeping count, it was Halo: Reach on September 14th, Fable 3 a few weeks ago, Call of Duty: Black Ops last week, and Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood this week. I like making my boy happy. I rule!

That it is really frustrating being a Viking fan these days?

That I am pretty tired of waiting to hear from the bank about our refinance? Let me know *something* already!

That we had our property surveyed today and, holy shit, the neighbors have been mowing our lawn since day one? :P

That I'm really excited about the fence that we'll have soon? The dogs are too... they told me.

That I like cornbread?

That I like motorcycles? Jooj told me I could start thinking about getting one. Mike wants to sell his. I want it. And, more importantly, I think Jooj wants me to have it.

That I'm going to switch the wheels of my skateboard onto Kelsey's old Black Label board? This will be my third board in, oh, 5 years I think. I'm going to do it tomorrow morning and skate that b!tch in the freezing cold.

That I'm super-duper anxious about my FFL game this weekend against Team Howlett? If we pull off this win I feel very good about the Red Devils making it to the playoffs. We play the 9th ranked team for the last game of the regular season and, barring certain permutations of teams winning/losing, we'll make it after beating them. If, and only if, we win this week. Go Devils!

That it's late and I'm going to bed? Well, it is and I am.

Frontside Kickturn

I successfully pulled off my first frontside kickturn on the wooden half-pipe at the skate park this morning. By comparison, a backside kickturn is easier since your back is facing the sky, you are facing down, and you totally see where you are going. Frontside has you facing toward the sky, your back is facing the ground, and it feels *totally* weird.

I bailed a few and nailed a lot. I don't know if I'm up for another skate tomorrow (seriously can't believe I managed to skate this morning after soccer last night) but I'm really looking forward to pulling more backsides.

See my post on the Concretin site for more...

It Happened Today

V is for Victory x 5

L'ville Hotspurs won this weekend, 82.52-63.44. After week 10 I'm 7-3, 2nd in my division, and should be 4th in the league of 18.

L'ville Gunners won this weekend. After week 10 I'm 6-4, 3rd in my division, and should be 4th in the league of 10.

L'ville Red Devils won this weekend. After week 10 we're 4-6, still sitting at 8th, but we are determined to win out our last 2 games and (with a little bit o' luck) making the playoffs. Go Devils!

L'ville Blues won this week, 8-1-0. After week 2 I'm 14-3-1, 2nd in the league of 10, playing the #1 spot this week. Not bad for a guy who knows Jack and Shit about the NBA, eh?

Even Will's FFL won this weekend.

The only win I didn't have was tonight in soccer. We got pummeled, 1-11. Oof.

Worst. Fortune. Ever.

Jooj and I went to the janky Chinese buffet we used to frequent back when she lived on Ellis. We were in the mood for some Chinese and this place normally delivers. They didn't have their fried corn balls but it was a good meal. I of course stuffed myself and polishing off the meal with 3 fresh macaroons was just icing on the cake.

The bill came out with two fortune cookies. Jooj grabbed one and busted it open...

"Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise and balance."

Sounds very philosophical. Sounds metaphysical. The engrish is a little hard to grasp on that one. But so is the concept. OooOOooh. I can imagine some wise and wizened monk uttering this while balancing himself on an upended bamboo shaft. Or, you know, maybe Yoda said it somewhere.

Impressed, I moved onto mine...

"You are going to have some new clothes."

Are you viking kidding me?!? I'ven't ever, ever, ever received such mundane tripe as my fortune. New clothes? Really? That's all you got? Really? So that's *really* it? Worst. Fortune. Ever.

Fantasy Football (and Basketball) Updates

The once-lowly L'ville Hotspurs have turned their fortunes around, won 3 in a row, are second in their division, and are ranked 5th in the league of 18. They are hitting the final stretch of the season and are looking to finish strong - currently at 6-3 and heading into a great matchup this week. I'm putting up league-leading points and look to continue that trend. I've done some amazing things with waiver wire pick-ups and a key trade.

The still-dominant L'ville Gunners are at 5-4 after suffering a heart-breaking loss of 151-140.5 to the #1 team in the league. Damn you Packers D... who would have ever thought it possible for a D/ST to put up 31 points? Even to the Cowboys? Unimaginable! Thankfully, 3 of my last 4 games are against the 3 worst teams in the league. So I should be a lock for the playoffs. This team is strong and will finish well.

The running-out-of-hope L'ville Red Devils have a record of 3-6 after suffering a gut-wrenching defeat at the hands of the Justice League, 109-108. Ugh. It's a game of inches (and single points). If we win out (which is possible and not all that unlikely actually), and with just a tad bit of help through any number of win-loss permutations, we can still make the playoffs with a 6-6 record. Coach Mike and I have made massive trades to make a play-off run. Let's hope it works our way.

Overall, across all of my teams in FFL, my record is a mediocre 14-13. Meh.

Lastly, the newly initiated L'ville Blues (NBA) ended their first "week" of games with a final record of 6-2-1, currently ranking me 4th in a league of 8 teams. I am sort of in cruise control at the moment as I am just figuring out what is going on but am encouraged by my record after the first week. In fact, I'm watching my first NBA game in *years* at the momet - LA Clippers versus the San Antonio Spurs.

Go 'Spurs! Go Gunners! Go Devils! Go Blues!

Mopani may look cool but don't buy it

When looking for driftwood for your bearded dragons I highly advise against Mopani. It looks cool. I can't argue that at all. And they seem to like it. But I swear, it has more holes than Prince Barin's sacred wooden stump on the forest moon of Arboria (nearly the vaguest of Flash Gordon references there). And those holes don't hide poisonous creatures ready to sting the next forearm. They hide crickets. And lots of them.

Sometimes the bearded dragons, Perseus and Pandora, don't eat all of their crickets. And those crickets feel compelled to run and hide for their lives. And they sometimes succeed. And during the night they start chirping. And their chirping is annoying. And here is another sentence that starts with "And". And the Mopani offers the more hiding spots than... well, shit, I have no idea what metaphor to use here... what has a lot of hiding spots?

Anyway, I shook a dozen crickets out of their Mopani and removed it. I'm heading to Feeder's tomorrow to pick up something with fewer hiding spots.

Man, what has a lot of hiding spots? I dunno. It's late.

Mercy at Mockingbird

Tonight was game 2 of my return to the indoor soccer field and out of retirement. And man-o-man, if I didn't love this game so much I would reconsider my decision. I was warned that the team we were playing tonight was going to be the best we would face. They brought their A game and we brought, well, about our Q game. It was 0-5 at half and my body was already beaten down. We did not maintain possession long enough for me to ever catch my breath. My right pinky was hurting. My hamstrings were on fire. I was sweating like Niagara Falls. And thank gawd for the Mercy rule. The other team scored another 5 - quickly. And then the refs stopped keeping track of the score. I don't know how many they racked up, but they easily scored 10 more times. By the end of the game I was done. I could barely stand up. But shit, it was still fun (if not a little embarrassing).

Heading out to go pick up Call of Duty: Black Ops at the midnight release for Mr. William and then dropping it off at his dad's. I'm the best step-dad ever!!!!

TOY BOWL CHAMPIONS!

After 17 weeks of conditioning, practice, playing, and driving Will around has culminated with a 16-8 win over St. Albert the Great in the AA Toy Bowl this afternoon at Trinity's stadium. Jooj and I were there, along with my mom and dad and my sister and her family. It was an exciting game and ended a great season filled with great play all around.

I am proud of my boy and hope that this season has given him an unforgettable experience.

The Modjeska

Modjeska's at Muth's Candy

I am so getting some tomorrow. I had them once. They are the SHIT! I "rediscovered" them while trying to tell this very story (in my story, it was a Russian dancer in 1908) after Hillary shared the fact that candy corn is only made in the USA. Muth's Candy is about two blocks from where I work.

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!

Happy Birthday Will!

Happy 14th Will!!!

The Walking Dead, Toy Bowl, Soccer, and WTF happened with Randy Moss?!?

Will and I just finished watching AMC's new series (only 6 episodes? Boo!) The Walking Dead. Whoah! That was pretty intense. I am truly impressed and think that I've found the first show to truly *engage* me since SyFy's Battlestar Galactica. Yes, I am a zombie lover and yes, that may make me biased. But please believe me when I say that this show seems to have some real potential. I hope Jooj's dad watched it. He always asks me about shows I don't watch and I would love to talk this one over with him. I can't wait to watch it again with Jooj and Kelsey! And I am really looking forward to next week's episode.

Guess what? The St. Agnes Saints won the semi-finals and are heading to the Toy Bowl this weekend! Woohoo! We're excited for him and hope everyone can come out and watch Will and his team (hopefully) win the whole thing.

Tonight was the first night I played as keeper in indoor soccer in nearly three years. I still had my moves but my hands were a little rusty. I had some great saves. But I also had some blown saves. We won 14-5 so I suppose no one can complain. I'm really looking forward to this session. I've longed to play soccer since watching the World Cup this summer.

Lastly, WTF happened? Randy Moss dropped by the Vikings? Seriously? I don't understand. He's open on waivers for the next 24 hours. If anyone picks him up during that time they are responsible for paying him. But if not, the Vikings are stuck with the bill. Now check this out... if nobody picks him up, the Patriots can sign him back, offer him the league minimum, the Vikings are stuck with the bill, the Patriots still have their 3rd round pick, and the Vikings are out a receiver. Fuck. Is it too early to think that the Viking season is over?