Oaks (andeverythingleadinguptoit)

What a week! Work, exercise, eat, paint, play, sleep. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Finished the "First Saturday" piece last night. Everyone at work loves it. We'll see how much it raises tonight at the Julep Ball. Excited. Drove Pat's Miata yesterday. Put the top down. Rides nice. Little cramped. Needs gas. Listening to new Wu-Tang album. Actually just Rae, Ghost, and Meth. It's good. Had coupons for Chik-fil-A breakfast items. Breakfast burrito sucks. Chicken minis are good. Chicken biscuit was the shit. Completed 6-week assessment for Heuser. Put on some weight. Lost some inches where it counts. Slightly improved on the physical aspects. Yay me. Work has been kicking my ass. It won't let up until the end of May. It'll only get worse. Thanks Jed. Keep missing getting together with Jed and Vian. Keep putting off lunch with Casey. Issue 17 for City of Heroes came out. It's so much fun. I love video games. I need to get serious about doing my comic book. Or I need to stop talking about it. I need to catch up on some sleep. ZZzzZZzzzzzZZZzzzzzz...

The Bike Incident

This story has been ongoing for a while. Every time I tell it the story is funny. As the story draws out, it almost becomes unbelievable. Well, the ending to the story happened yesterday and now I'm going to share it with you (as well as myself when I go back and read this entry... "Hello Future-Self!").

Since I started here at Genscape, way back in October 2009, there has been a bike sitting up here on the third floor. No one really noticed it at first because we have several guys who bike into work. So it kind of blended in.

Well, we happened to realize that the bike didn't belong to anyone up here on the third floor. We asked around a bit and decided it must have been left by the former tenants (kind of unlikely now that I look back on it). We saw that it was from Scheller's so I did the right thing and called to tell them about it.

They were very nice and appreciated my effort to find the owner but said that their computer system couldn't look up an owner by the serial number. They could look up a customer and see what bikes, by serial number, he or she owned but not the other way around. When asked what I should do next their response was, "Brother, it sounds like you have a free bike."

So, as I have mentioned on several occasions, I am a coordinator for our charity here at work. We are raising $60K to build a water purification system for the small village of Asiento Viejo, Nicaragua. As a coordinator I am charged with coming up with ways to raise money for the project. An idea I have babysat is an auction site where people donate items and we auction them with all proceeds going to our charity.

I put the bike up for auction and it didn't sell. It didn't even receive a bid. WTF?! I put it back up. Afterwards I noticed that there was something terribly wrong with the auction site. I fixed the problem (after Steve Akers bought the bike for $25 [and graciously returned it]) and happily watched the price skyrocket from $25 to an ending price of $250.

The winning bidder was Azim from the Boston office. Hooray! Everybody wins!

Yeah right. What kind of story would that be? BORING!

I was warned that Azim was a dick. And that any transaction with him should be handled quickly if I had any say in the matter. I fired off an email and Azim paid that day. Things were going so smoothly.

A few of us discussed shipping options (should have thought about that before I put up the auction). It was decided that we were going to break down the bike and ship it in a bike box. The bike box guys were called and the box was on its way. A Genscape employee named Mike just happened to walk by right about that moment.

"That's my bike."

I wasn't there for the conversation that happened after he uttered this. But I can imagine how it went and am pretty sure that is how it started. It turns out that Mike had purchased the bike many months ago, ridden it a few times, and "stored" it up on the third floor.

Are.

You.

Serious?

Okay, okay. So it's Mike's bike. Shiiiiiit. I called Azim but he did not answer. I emailed him with a vague message about a "development" about the bike. Well, he called back yesterday. And to say we had a nice little chat would be about the opposite of what happened.

He chewed me a new one. But I knew it was coming and I can't really blame him. I would have been a little upset myself. I just kept my cool and repeated the facts. He eventually calmed down and I promised to send him a check.

So that's the Bike Incident story. Sometimes I just can't make this stuff up :)

Panties

A have a new trainer down at Heuser that I've been working with. His name is G and I had heard stories about his taskmastering ways. Well, the stories are true and he is a punisher. To make matters worse, I made the mistake of telling him that I rarely push myself out of my comfort zone. He made sure that I pushed. In fact, he started calling me "Panties" because I couldn't push my heart rate to 170. I explained that I was a cross country runner and I can breathe pretty efficiently. He didn't want to hear it. He pushed me hard. And my heart rate peaked at 168. That was close enough for him. Afterward, he referred to me by name... and called all the other guys in my class "Panties" :)

Really, what are the odds?

I kind of half-way looked this up on the Interwebs by starting out with basketballs getting stuck on the rim. But there aren't really any stats on that, nor odds of it happening, so I gave up. Unless you think unlikely shit happens everyday, or just aren't impressed with the strange little things that happen in life, then this is going to blow your mind.

I was throwing the ball to Boba the other day. I have a few of those Chuckit! balls and I like them because they bounce high and they are pretty durable. I like to throw them long and/or hard and watch Boba catch the ball on its first bounce. He's pretty good (when he tries) and it's a fun game.

Well, yesterday I was tossing the ball and had a bit of a janky throw. The ball soared a bit behind me and was heading toward some tree limbs. The ball hit a branch and I was expecting it to pinball down the tree but it just stopped... THUNK! It stuck between a fork in the branches and stopped dead in its fall. What are the chances, right?

But wait, there is more!

So this morning I had the bright idea of getting Will's soccer ball to throw at the branch and loosen the Chuckit! ball from the branch's hold. Boba was pretty interested in the soccer ball which only slowed my efforts. And then one of the neighbor kids (one of the Australians... GRRRRR!) came over and stuck his nose in my business. About 15 throws later, I fired off a pretty good throw that deflected off the branch and GOT STUCK BETWEEN A FORK IN THE BRANCHES AND STOPPED DEAD IN ITS FALL!

What are the odds of that happening? I mean, I couldn't simply throw a ball into a tree and expect it to get stuck up there within any reasonable amount of time. And I certainly couldn't expect it to happen twice. Two balls stuck in one tree within 24 hours! Holy hell, seriously, what are the chances?

(Sidebar: I was explaining to the Aussie, as I climbed up the tree, that I was wasting my effort because I don't want to spend another $6 on a pair of Chuckit! balls. After I loosened and freed the two balls, he promptly throws the ball into the common area and is called in by his father immediately after. "Where is the ball?" I asked him as he walked away. Son of a bitch! [I found it eventually])

Washington DC - Day 4

So we're all pretty much out of gas today. Will and I woke up at 7 AM and made our way to the Washington Monument. The line was long and we were going to be short on time today, so we opted out of the elevator trip. We were a little bummed but enjoyed a leisure stroll back to the hotel.

On the way we managed to find our way behind the White House, where we were not able to go yesterday. We took a picture for Jooj. We also spied the remnants of the the Easter Egg hunt (Peeps and such).

We checked out of the hotel and made our way to the International Spy Museum. A line!!! We walked around the block to the Ford's Theatre and... A LINE!!! Grrr. Kelsey and Jooj haggled with a vendor (well, *I* haggled) and picked up a pair of knock-off purses. Teehee!

We ate lunch and toured the Smithsonian American Art Museum. We hit the more recent stuff and saw some really cool things. The kids, already tired and out of gas, were done way before I was ready to leave. But I had to go with the flow and move along with them.

We stopped in the International Spy Museum's shop where Will picked up a pair of sunglasses that allow him to see behind him. He also bought a copy of Sun Tzu's Art of War. What a funny kid.

We walked around a bit longer, hopped on the metro, hung out in the hotel lobby, crammed onto the rush hour metro, got off in front of Reagan, and flew home.

Washington DC - Day 3

Yesterday marked day 3 of our Washington DC trip. Will and I started the morning on the metro to wait in line. We didn't know if we would be waiting in the line for the Washington Monument or the Holocaust Museum. After surveying the line for the monument we opted for the Holocaust Museum. After a 90-minute wait we were awarded with 4 tickets. The grrrls showed up shortly after that and we went in.

Wow.

I don't know how to put into words the emotions that ran through me during that visit. I can say this: I snapped a single picture. It was a picture of the thousands of shoes that Jewish concentration camp victims discarded just before meeting their doom. Nothing I can type will give the experience justice.

We headed out of the Holocaust Museum, all four of us in a daze, and somehow wandered into the Freer Gallery. We came to our senses and realized that we were hungry and needed to get over to the Air & Space Museum. After grabbing some quick McDonald's we entered the Air & Space Museum again.

It was just as overwhelming as the day before. But the situation was complicated by the enormous number of children running around. Will and I hit up a few exhibits and then, after realizing that the flight simulator cost money (and overhearing someone lament that it was "a complete waste of money"), scrubbed our Air & Space visit.

We met up with the grrrls (who had left earlier to relax on the lawn of The Mall) and headed toward the White House. Jooj wanted to see the back of it (the view that people associate with the white house) but could not reach it. We found out later that it was because of the Easter egg hunt on the back lawn. A huge crowd had amassed too. People said J. K. Rowling and Justin Bieber were in there. Meh.

We headed back to the hotel. The grrrls took naps while I checked emails and stuff. We then headed over to the Froggy Bottom Pub for some good pub food. It was pretty good and also pretty cheap. We came back to the room and watched the NCAA Championship game.

("Happy Easter. I hate Duke!" That is what some weird dude said to us two days ago ride outside the pagoda gate in Chinatown... seemed harmless at the time but oh so relevant now)

Washington DC - Day 2

Day 2 is nearly under our belt. Will and I are sitting at a table in the lobby and Kelsey is behind us. She and I are enjoying some free Internet while Will is getting his sketchin' on. Jooj is upstairs nursing her poor feet. We were machines today.

We started out taking the metro to The Mall. We headed to the Museum of Natural History. It was awesome! It was so awesome. But the kids were getting antsy and Jooj informed me that she "doesn't like stuffed animals." I quickly figured out that she wasn't referring to toys but taxidermy. So we jetted out (not before hitting the gift store where Will purchased a 36" long gummy snake) and headed toward the Museum of American History. On the way there, Kelsey made deal with a street vendor for some new shades. Hilarious!

The Museum of American History was awesome. I saw many, many cool things - two of which that topped my list were the C-3P0 suit worn by Anthony Daniels and an authentic Star Trek phaser. LOL, I'm such a geek :) There was so much to see and we all had so much fun. A moving moment for me was snapping a picture of the bent and stressed beams from the World Trade Center.

We walked outside to take a lunch break. We ate a quick meal of vendor fare and headed back in to finish up. We hit a few more exhibits and then left. Will took the opportunity to get his own pair of shades from the same street vendor. He remembered Kelsey and gave Will a deal. Hehehe!

We crossed The Mall again and went inside the Air & Space Museum. Jooj took a bench pretty quick. Kelsey followed. Will and I wandered for a few, just completely overwhelmed by the surroundings. We saw the grrrls from the balcony and they looked miserable. We decided to call it a day at Air & Space and hit it tomorrow. On the way out we ran into a guy wearing a Louisville shirt and we chatted him up.

We chilled on the lawn of The Mall for a while. Then we walked to Chinatown. We admired the huge Pagoda Gate. We ate some great asian food at Mings Restaurant. We saw a guy with 4 rats on his shoulder. We rode the metro back to Foggy-Bottom. We saw a half-assed transvestite (needed a good shave and a scarf) and followed him for a while. We hit the hotel. I showered. I blogged. And now Jooj is asking me for a Diet Coke.

Washington DC - Day 1

We survived our first day of vacation in the nations Capitol. And I say "survived" because my legs feel as though I just ran with the bulls. We landed at Reagan, taxi'ed to the Marriott Renaissance M hotel, and immediately darted south to The Mall.

We started with the Womens Viet Nam Memorial, stared at the stoic Lincoln, saw our reflections in The Wall, admired the soldiers at the Korean War Memorial (my favorite from my first trip to DC), circled the World War II Memorial, admired the immensity of the Washington Monument, and enjoyed the Cherry Blossoms. We headed north from there and walked by the White House.

We spotted and spotter spotting us and a snapped his picture. After that we slipped into the Renwick Gallery and admired some classic and contemporary art. A few blocks later we were back at the hotel.

After a short rest we made our way toward the metro and caught the Blue line toward Alexandria, VA. We had dinner reservations to feast in the 13th century. But the metro was turned away before reaching the Pentagon. Supposedly there was some kind of "situation". Desperate to not miss our reservation we hopped into a cab and paid too much money to get to King Street in the old town of Alexandria.

Medieval Madness was awesome. The kids were mortified for most of the meal but warmed up toward the end of the show. There is just so much to tell about it but I don't even know where to start. The "cast" all role-played the parts of maidens ("wenches"), knights, a jester, and even the Duke and Duchess. The meal was served over four courses and was in the style of food from the 13th century. The kids were knighted as squires and helped out in the sword play that took place later in the show. It is a memory, good or bad, that they will never forget.

So much for the first night. We all slept well. Maybe too well, as Will snored off and on all night :)