9/11 - Ten Years Later

I woke up early and was sitting on a the couch in the office in Denton, TX, wondering why I couldn't log onto cnn.com when a friend called with the news that a single-engine aircraft had crashed into one of the towers of the World Trade Center. He and I had stayed there only months before and were even fortunate enough to take a stroll on a rooftop so this news was particularly poignant (little did we know how grave the situation would turn out to be).

We turned on the news immediately. I remember saying that the damage didn't appear to have been caused by a single-engine plane. The damage seemed much more severe to me. However, I had no idea what had caused it. And since the news was reporting that eye-witness accounts were claiming it was a Cessna I had no reason to believe anything else.

And then the first moment of two moments I will never forget from that day happened. The second plane hit the South Tower. It happened right there, on television, in front of millions of us. The damage to the North tower now made sense. It was no single-engine aircraft. It was a passenger jet that hit the North tower, just like the one that hit the South tower.

And then the shock hit me that this was no accident. What was unfolding on television - what we were all witnessing - was some sort of coordinated attack on American soil. I remember the shock that was just pulsing in waves through my brain. Who would have the gall to do this? And why? Why the hell would someone do this? And those people in the towers! How many were already dead? How were the rest going to get out? How the hell were those firefighters going to get that fire under control (my dad was a firefighter - I think about these things)?

I didn't have all that much time to ponder these thoughts. Not long after the towers were hit another attack happened at the Pentagon. Another plane. Jeebus fucking Christmas! At that moment, my shock turned to utter fear. Every plane in the sky was a potential weapon. And how many were there? All of the sudden I felt like a plane was going to fall down on me (seriously, I was scared of anything flying in the sky at that point). The news caught on and started reporting on how many planes were grounded, how many were in the air, and how many were unaccounted for.

And then the second moment happened. No one was watching TV with me at the time. Everyone else was either at work or in the shower. The newscaster didn't know what had happened. He said that, judging by the smoke and dust cloud, his guess was some type of explosion had occurred. But I've seen enough shows on Discovery showing the implosion of old buildings to know what I had just witnessed. The South tower collapsed. Soon after, the North tower collapsed.

Ho.

Lee.

Shit.

Shock. Fear. Horror. I can't tell you what I was feeling. I really don't know. And I didn't have long to feel it before more news came in.

A plane had gone down somewhere in Pennsylvania. I just *knew* that it had been shot down. I felt bad for the pilot(s) that had to do it. But it had to be done (I later was relieved to find this wasn't the case and am, to this day, thankful to the passengers of Flight 93 for acting in selfless bravery). I am probably in the minority of people who think that shooting down passenger planes is a good idea. But when faced with the decision of the needs of the many outweighing the needs of the few, logic dictates the answer.

At some point after that word was given that all planes were grounded. The threat, at least in my mind, had passed. It was now time for search and rescue. I watched the television for the next 24 hours without pause. I don't remember eating. At some point during the day, among the flood of emotions running through my head, another one made itself known: anger.

Who the fuck did this? Whisperings and speculation pointed all fingers to different groups in the Middle East. What bastards? What camel-fucking fucks did this to us? I was ready to enlist before the sun even went down on that day. Some days I wish I had. I feel guilty that so many lost and gave their lives that day and here I sit living in this wonderful freedom that I've done nothing to earn (well, I pay taxes).

So yeah. That's what was going on with me ten years ago today. I was proud to be an American then and I am still proud to be one now. I am thankful for the sacrifices made that day by my fellow Americans and everyday by members of the armed forces. Gawd bless America!

87.3% | 174.78 lbs. (174.0 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 69.59% (254 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.