Two days since gallbladder surgery. Two days since surviving unbearably, unbelievably unbearable pain. Two days of drug-addled, brain-numbing, pain-freeing, sleep-deprived daze. Alas, two days since my last significant bowel movement too.
During the course of my recovery I have come to realize that the Hydrocodone/APAP 10MG/325MG tablet serves as both my captor and my savior - both a source of torment and freedom. Under its influence I am able to function. I can sit straight up without discomfort. I can take deep breaths. I can walk up and down steps. These things are difficult without the pain-killing effects of the pill.
The pills hinder my cognitive skills. It takes so much concentration just to concentrate. I can't sleep soundly with them in my system. And they definitely are affecting my ability to shed weight. In the last three days my weight has sky-rocketed from 171.2 lbs. to 177.2 lbs. I obviously cannot exercise in my current shape but the "constipative" side-effects of the pill are disallowing proper "bodily flow".
In an effort to get some real sleep last night (and in a vain attempt to scoff at my dependency) I didn't take any pills before laying down after the Monday Night Football game. I slept hard. It felt great. So refreshing. However, the cold reality of the situation greeted me this morning when my body, devoid of pain-killing drugs, reminded me why the pills are both my friend and my foe. My incisions throbbed with pain. My chest hurt when I breathed. This cycle must be broken... now is not that time.
I loaded up on meds throughout the day. Eventually I hit a plateau of brain-numbing goodness that took the pain away again. I'm not a fan of this perpetual haze. This zany daze. This lazy craze. I'm sick of it. I just want to feel better... without the "help" of any medication.
I'm hoping tomorrow will be better. Maybe the pain will have lessened on its own. Maybe I'll poop. I want some sign that I'm returning back to the land of healthy, responsible adults.
92.1% | 174.54 lbs. (177.2 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 75.89% (277 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.
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