Shoes (welcome to my neurosis)

So I have had this methodology about what sneakers I wear for the past few years. This works best with 3 pairs of sneakers but more shoes work out just fine. I have three "classes" of sneakers: junky sneaker, exercise sneaker, and "dress" sneakers.

BTW, I struggled with what word to use there. I started with shoe. But that word covers the gamut of every type of shoe. I am talking strictly about tennis shoes - as we called them when I was growing up. But tennis shoe is pretty stupid since I neither play tennis nor think that any shoe I own actually optimize my tennis playing ability. But I digress (as I will do during this post... I'm just getting warmed up). So then I moved on to sneaker. I think Granny used to call them that. But why? Why call them sneakers? Did all shoes have hard soles back in the day? So when the first sneaker came along with its rubber sole and didn't make a sound they thought people were wearing ninja shoes (of course, not even knowing what a ninja was as it had not even come close to reaching popular culture)? What do people call them these days? I don't know. In honor of Granny, I'm going with sneaker.

All new sneakers start out as dress sneakers. They are new and clean. That means that I don't have to worry about dirt, stains, or poop being on them. As my sneakers get on with their life, they receive wear and tear, and they simply don't deserve to remain in the "dress" class. At that point they are retired to the exercise class. At this point, I use them strictly for exercise (if applicable... my skating shoes aren't going to help me jog). Normally, the current exercise shoe then gets demoted to junky sneaker. And then the junky shoes are sent off to pasture or thrown into a tree or, you know, just thrown away.

Related tangent: About ten years ago I owned a pair of grey/red Adidas sneakers. Without knowing it, both my brother-in-law and my good friend Jed bought the same pair. Crazy coincidence, right? It was also about this time that I came up with my method. So when it was time to move onto the next pair I purchased a pair of blue/orange Adidas. Interestingly enough, and again without prior knowledge, Jed bought the same pair. It is these blue/orange Adidas that will be considered the protagonist in this tale.

So the last shoe to be retired to junky (and at this point in my life, junky is also synonymous [two y's - look at that!] with yard work) were these aforementioned blue/orange Adidas sneakers. I had the choice of retiring either the blue/orange or the black/grey. The blue/orange got the nod because they were older.

Well, I went out to find a replacement pair. I own a half dozen or more sneakers and they all are dress sneakers besides the designated exercise and junky sneakers. So blue/orange moved to junky and black/grey moved to exercise. But I couldn't find a worthy replacement for the blue/orange. I found a sweet black/silver/red pair and then a white/blue pair. I love the black/silver/red pair. I'm not keen on the white/blue pair. I almost wish I didn't buy them.

I mowed the lawn in the blue/orange pair so it was official. But I've always regretted it.

Last week, I was out with the dogs and stepped in a huge pile of poo while wearing the black/grey pair. I've cleaned poop off shoes before but it is no fun. So I was lamenting the fact that I was going to have to do it. Maybe that is what subconsciously allowed me to wear the black/grey pair while doing yard work yesterday.

Yard work was done. Poo was stepped in. They were dirtied up nicely.

So the unthinkable is going to happen. I'm going to un-retire and reinstate the blue/orange pair. I can hardly believe I am typing that and saying it. But I'm going to do it.

Welcome to my neurosis...