The Haps

Bad :( Different :|

2012-01-27T18:57:00.000-08:00

~~Bad news. Bad deadlines. Bad workload. Bad hangover. Bad week.~~

This week hasn't been as bad as I let on. Yes, some bad news was discussed today. I cannot deny that. But other things haven't been so bad as things have been different.

Things have been different.

What do I mean by that?

It's, like, I'm just realizing how much things aren't the same anymore. And I'm not talking about the obvious stuff. Duh! The major changes in my life are always there. I'm talking about the small changes - the mundane changes - that are just different.

I don't go to my celebrity gossip sites any longer. No What Would Tyler Durden Do. No The Superficial. No I Don't Like You In That Way. I still read Ain't It Cool but not daily.

I don't play City of Heroes any longer. I can't explain this. I purchased a year membership. I dropped $100 on in-game credits. I've kept in loose touch with Ger, Toes, Thundarr, and Ms. Kactus. I sat down tonight to play and I only got as far as the login page. So close!

I don't watch my shows. No Grey's Anatomy. No Community (I hate that it got cancelled). No House. No Walking Dead (February 12th, are you here yet?).

I don't play soccer (Do I want to?). I don't skate (I want to). I don't run (I want to).

I don't bring lunch to work. Just stopped. Not even leftovers.

I don't paint. This is killing me.

I don't own a game system. No Wii. No Xbox 360. Gawd forbid a PS3! For the first time in... wow... since 1987... in 24 years I have not owned and regularly play a game console. :o This. Is. Seewius.

I don't respond to personal emails. I just haven't really given my email account any lovin' in months. Over 1000 emails unread... and these are all good ones that survived the Unsubscribe Purge of August 2011.

I don't get up at the crack of dawn anymore. My body just decided to stop waking up on its own at 7:20am. I'll regularly wake up a few minutes after 8am. May sound like a small difference but it messes with me a bit.

I don't get inspired. My comic idea is shot. Any space here at the house that would be suitable for painting is unsuitable. Period. I can't paint something beautiful when I'm constrained in a corner of a spare room like some antique afterthought.

I don't blog everyday. I have no New Year's Resolution holding me to it. Why bother? I do miss it. I feel like it helps me process the days.

It has been kind of a bad week too. Work has been sucking me like Penelope. I forgot to call the Radon people. I lost my car payment book (and missed my first car payment... winner != me). My buddy was sick and I hate that for him. The aforementioned bad news. I'm going to *not* go to the bank tomorrow and meet with Tom... I'm just done with this ~~bad~~ different week.

W: 173.6 lbs. | O: 1 flosses, 32 brushes| P: 55.41% (Visa), 51.15% (MC), 22.90% (BoA) | R: 0 miles

A Night To Forget

2012-01-25T08:09:00.000-08:00

Whoah boy. Yesterday...

Skyline for lunch. Hard day at work. Going away party for Karen. Against the Grain. Sergio's. Rachel's. Woke up on my cousin's floor with a cat standing on me at 8:09am.

Good gawd lawd almighty I am feeling like that black scum that "grows" under your mouse.

W: 173.6 lbs. | O: 1 flosses, 30 brushes| P: 55.41% (Visa), 51.15% (MC), 22.90% (BoA) | R: 0 miles

A Day To Remember

2012-01-23T23:59:00.000-08:00

So I've been playing a lot on my iPhone. I started out with Plants vs. Zombies. That was fun. Moved on to Battleheart and Zombieville USA. Then I started putting time into Risk and Heroes vs. Monsters. Even though I've recently picked up Words and Hanging, I put in a lot of time with Risk.

So this game I started Friday was coming to an end, and not in my favor. As is an accepted tactic, I began the game with Australia and slowly crept over Asia, making surgical strikes along the way. This game was no different than others I've played. Only a few strokes of luck and/or misfortune had me in a predicament.

Let me set the scene. It was down to me and two other players. I begin every game against 5 Hard computer opponents. I lose rarely but when I do it is only against this onslaught. Anyway, Red Army had North America and bits of Europe. Blue Army had South America, Africa, and the other bits of Europe. I had Australia and Asia.

The computer opponents really flip out when Asia is taken. I thought I was prepared for their seven nation army strike. I was wrong. Blue Army broke my Western front and overtook Australia. Red Army marched all over Asia from Europe. By the time my turn rolled around I was relegated to northeastern Asian territories.

I wanted to quit. I had never come back from odds of this nature. Not even close. But I wanted to see who would dominate, Red or Blue. So I turtled up and just passed up turn after turn, slowly growing my army and staying put while the world war raged on around me. Red Army gained the upper hand. Blue Army gained the upper hand. It was a tit-for-tat battle. All the while, Orange Army (me!) was building up.

I made my move. Took over northeast North America. And continued to turtle. Red Army took over Europe. Asia was a broken mess. Blue Army was leading pretty handedly but couldn't muster the might to take down either Red Army or me.

Over time I spread out across North America, reaching into Europe, Asia, and South America. South America was soon taken and I dipped my might into Africa. Then Africa. Red Army dead. Blue Army dead. Orange Army FTW!

Remember when I claimed I'm a fucking general in iPhone Risk? While that claim sums up what I believe to signify my skill at the game, it turns out that wasn't entirely true. However, with this being my 20th win, I am now, in fact, a fucking General.

W: 173.6 lbs. | O: 1 flosses, 27 brushes| P: 55.41% (Visa), 51.15% (MC), 22.90% (BoA) | R: 0 miles

Shoe Shopping Sunday

2012-01-22T23:59:00.000-08:00

Went shoe shopping today at Oxmoor. I was looking for two pairs of new dress shoes, a brown pair and a black pair. The criteria I was working with seemed simple enough: I want shoes with laces, I want shoes with a square toe, and I want shoes with a hard sole (I like people to hear when I'm coming). Easy, right?

Brrrt. Wrong. After three hours I left with zero pairs of shoes - completely empty-handed in fact. I did manage to get some lunch in me. And I saw my friend Casey. And I saw the scowling pharmacist shopping with her mother (still scowling). And I saw my old co-worker Rex jogging on my way there. Fun day - just no shoes.

W: 173.6 lbs. | O: 1 flosses, 26 brushes| P: 55.41% (Visa), 51.15% (MC), 22.90% (BoA) | R: 0 miles

It's 5:30 pm and I'm still in my comfy cozies...

2012-01-21T14:30:00.000-08:00

Slept in. Breakfast consisted of pamcakes and bacon. Watched Mastermind. Cute movie. Emma's fever broke so she and Melisssss went home. Logged on and worked for a short while. Watched TRON: Legacy. Ate bean & chorizo soup for lunch. Watched hockey. Played Words and Hanging and Risk on the iPhone. Did some laundry. Watched more hockey. Brushed and flossed.

What will the evening have in store for me?

Hockey? Ugh. Lazy? Maybe. Shower? Perhaps. Fun? Of course.

W: 173.6 lbs. | O: 1 flosses, 25 brushes| P: 55.41% (Visa), 51.15% (MC), 22.90% (BoA) | R: 0 miles

From Moody Judy to Happy Pappy

2012-01-20T23:59:00.000-08:00

I was such a little whiny bitch yesterday. Nothing seemed to be going right. I was just in a turd of a mood. And I wasn't hiding it all too well. Sorry if you were around me. I know I was being a little bitch. Forgive me?

Today, for whatever reason, I woke up pretty much feeling exactly the opposite of how I felt yesterday. I woke up happy. I went to work happy. And I stayed happy all day. Work was good. Blueberry muffins for breakfast! Cafe Mimosa for lunch! Ran over to the house to get it ready for a showing. That went well. Relaxed after that with loved ones. Plenty of good feeling doing that, duh! Had some kick-ass pizza for dinner (tomato, green pepper, jalapeno, chicken, extra cheese... yes please!). Watched some silly TV snuggled on the couch. Melisssss spent the night 'cause Emma has been sick with the flu all week and it was a blast hanging out with her. We stayed up late watching Jackass 3.

Side note: I fucking love my car. Long story short, I had to pass some assholes in a quick-like manner on the expressway on the way home. I swerved, smashed the gas, and watched idiots fade behind me in my rear view mirror. I looked down at my speedometer... 110 mph!!! I felt like I was going 55. Kick ass!

(Don't worry, I slowed down)

W: 174.2 lbs. | O: 0 flosses, 24 brushes| P: 55.41% (Visa), 51.15% (MC), 22.90% (BoA) | R: 0 miles

Bai Pandora

2012-01-19T23:59:00.000-08:00

Got some bad news today. Pandora, the female bearded dragon, died while in the process of laying her third clutch of eggs. Will texted me. He says he isn't upset. Maybe he isn't. I am :(

One of my many roles as zookeeper was to keep the dragons healthy, including but not limited to dicing and providing fresh red peppers, feeding them crickets, sprinkling calcium over aforementioned crickets, spraying them with water, filling the aforementioned spray bottle with vitamin-fortified solution, cleaning their stank-ass poop, turning on their lights, turning off their lights, and changing out their sand (actually crushed walnut shells). I don't want to ponder what could've/should've/would've happened had the dragons still been under my care. Her passing just makes me sad.

Just another reminder of how so many facets of my life are changing.

W: 174.2 lbs. | O: 0 flosses, 23 brushes| P: 55.41% (Visa), 51.15% (MC), 22.90% (BoA) | R: 0 miles

Bad News Day Tuesday

2012-01-18T07:47:00.000-08:00

What a garbage day yesterday.

Tornado touched down. Bad news. Bad fucking news. Stupid sql queries. Bad news. Email about a house in the neighborhood. Bad news. Couldn't find problem with the car. Bad news (no charge - good news). Action Jackson is puking and coughing. Bad news. Emma perhaps has the flu and is spending the night. (Hopefully *not*) bad news. I've put on 5 pounds from eating fudge since last week. Bad news. I am totally demotivated. Bad news.

No more bad news! Give me a break.

W: 174.2 lbs. | O: 0 flosses, 20 brushes| P: 55.41% (Visa), 51.15% (MC), 22.90% (BoA) | R: 0 miles

It's some kind of "dis" word...

2012-01-17T10:23:00.000-08:00

I have this feeling. I'm not sure what it is. But I'm pretty sure it's a "dis" word.

Disassociated? Yes, but it's more than that. Distant? In a way. Discomfort? At times. Dissatisfied? Of course, but who can blame me at this point. Dishonest? No, I've been quite up front with people. Disadvantaged? Not really, although I rarely feel as if I have any upper-hand. Disengaged? Totally - I am in a rut and completely uninspired but it is still more than that. Dystopian (I know, that's a cheat)? It certainly can feel like that at times but no, that's too much. Disconnected? I *do* feel mostly like this - like I can't relate to anyone right now, but there is more to it than just this. Disillusioned? Perhaps, in one way or another. Dissed? Yep, but more than just that. Discombobulated?

Discombobulated. That's it. Confused. Check. Upset. Check. Frustrated. Check.

I knew it was a "dis" word.

W: 174.2 lbs. | O: 0 flosses, 19 brushes| P: 54.81% (Visa), 51.15% (MC), 22.05% (BoA) | R: 0 miles

Cautiously Optimistic

2012-01-13T13:19:00.000-08:00

It's been a tough week.

Lows.
Highs.
Doldrums.
Outbursts.
Wins.
Losses.
Magical.
Mundane.

This week has literally been all over the place.

I'm not certain what I can/will/shall blog about from the last few days. Suffice to say, some things are very personal, some things bear no mentioning, and some things are best left unsaid.

I have been through some sh!t recently. Multi-faceted sh!t. Multi-angular sh!t. Trigonometric hyperbolic paraboloid sh!t. I'm in it. I'm still going through it. But there is a little hope somewhere deep down inside of me that I've reached the middle of it and that, at some point soon, I will be making my way out of this storm. I am cautiously optimistic that this is the case.

With all of that (un)said, here is the 2012 version of my resolution tracker...

W: 169.8 lbs. | O: 0 flosses, 15 brushes| P: 54.81% (Visa), 51.15% (MC), 22.05% (BoA) | R: 0 miles

New Year's Eve

2012-01-10T21:13:00.000-08:00

No, not the movie New Year's Eve (although that looks like a cute movie... kik) - I'm talking New Year's Eve Resolutions for 2012.

I was asleep on the couch for New Year's Eve. No party. No smooch. No resolutions. Not even a drop to drink. One of those can be remedied right nao.

As is sometimes the case, whether I ever voice this fact or not (outside of my inner monologue and me), I will assign a codename... to just about anything... for no good reason. I am calling this year's set of resolutions WOPR (Geek reference alert! That was the name of the military supercomputer at NORAD in the movie Wargames who nearly started World War III when all he really wanted to do was play a nice game of chess!). They seem pretty straightforward too:

Weight. Keep it under 170 lbs. I'll weigh in each Monday morning.

Oral hygiene. I'm bad at it. And my teeth are weaklings. I already brush everyday but I need to do more. Floss more. Mouthwash more (and not just use it on the rare occasion of substituting for brushing). Floss 100 times! Brush twice a day!

Pay off. Pay off the Visa. Pay off the Mastercard. Pay off the loan. Period.

Run. Run 500 miles. I grew up running and it is part of me. I enjoyed it when I ran over the summer. And I want to run a mini.

WOPR. Boom. There you go.

I'm back... to normal?

2012-01-09T20:50:00.000-08:00

I've been "out" for a while. I'm back now.

In my time gone I didn't finish my movie quest. New Year's Eve came. I was asleep - passed out on the couch and only waking at 1:43am to go to to bed. New Year's Day came. Subjugated. Interrogated. Confiscated. Monday off from work. Sat on the same spot of the couch. All. Day. Long. Back to work Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Friday. Appointments. Phone calls. Develop. Deploy. Terrified. Black-bagged. Dungeons. Shake off the malaise. Get my ass in gear to get the house ready for its MLS Listing. House is on the market as of this weekend... GO BUY IT!!! Modern Family is such a fantastic show! Spending time with friends is also faaantastic. I'm a fucking general in iPhone Risk. I suck at Words With Friends. I'm trying out Hangin' With Friends. First normal day for weeks at work. Productive. Is the Alert Generator Tool reaching a finishing point? I dare say I believe so. I've been tinkering on that tool for a looong time. Pushing it will be, to borrow the phrase, a big win. Picked up my stuff. Taped up? Srsly? Did Jimmy the Retard get left all alone in a room with my computers and a tape gun? For fuck's sake!

Are things returning to normal yet? That's a loaded question, mate.

Let's talk about normal. What is that?

In traditional terms I suppose I should own a home, have a spouse, make two and a half kids, own some pets, drive a car, be a good little Joe Consumer, work hard at a job, watch primetime television... I dunno... what else?

Relativistically, whatever I do, however odd or mundane, on a daily basis qualifies as normal. If I eat ahi tuna for every meal, every day, that would be a "normal" thing to me. So what is normal in that respect for me? Waking up and showering. The drive to work. (I'm not counting the work day since my work day/load can never really be predicted day-to-day) Monday and Thursday morning apprehension. Gumbo Wednesday. The drive home. Fucking around with the iPhone. Watching hockey ;) Heartache. Harassment. Hellacious.

I'm babbling.

I suppose I feel about as far away from the word normal as can be. I am the chaotic to lawful. I am the neutral to good or evil. I am the Bahamut to Tiamat. I am the natural 20 to the failed saving throw. I am the high-level, dual-classed Ranger/Magic-User - driven mad by the the howling gale of the Windswept Depths of Pandemomium - wandering through the shadow forest realm of the Queen of Air and Darkness and her Unseelie Court as I search in vain for the final piece of the Rod of Seven Parts. I am the fucking Wand of Wonder. (Those are some bomb-ass D&D references there - hope you appreciate them, Future Self).

'Bama just beat LSU for the national championship. Roll tide.

Fifteen Movies in Ten Days, Day 9

2011-12-30T23:59:00.000-08:00

Alice In Wonderland*
~~Archer: Season 2~~
~~Avatar~~
~~Batman: The Dark Knight~~
~~Burn After Reading~~
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1*
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2*
~~Inception~~
Ip Man*
Red*
Sherlock Holmes*
~~Star Trek~~
~~Sucker Punch~~
True Grit*
Lucky # Slevin

Worked harder than I wanted to today. Went to Preston Art Center to pick up some canvases. Went to the bank to sign some paperwork. Went home and watched the rest of Inception. Went to mamaw's to celebrate her birfday. Came home and watched some random bowl games. Phone died (thankfully). Stayed up late watching Archer: Season 2.

Fifteen Movies in Ten Days, Day 8

2011-12-29T23:59:00.000-08:00

Fifteen Movies in Ten Days, Day 7

2011-12-28T23:59:00.000-08:00

Fifteen Movies in Ten Days, Day 6

2011-12-27T23:59:00.000-08:00

Alice In Wonderland*
Archer: Season 2
~~Avatar~~
~~Batman: The Dark Knight~~
~~Burn After Reading~~
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1*
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2*
Inception
Ip Man*
Red*
Sherlock Holmes*
~~Star Trek~~
~~Sucker Punch~~
True Grit*
Where the Wild Things Are

It was Harry Potter Tuesday with a double-feature of Deathly Hallows. I'm gonna be honest - I've enjoyed the Harry Potter films but I always leave them confused and full of questions. It wasn't a problem when my sister was just a phone call away and was still fresh with the books. But she read those years ago and isn't the fountain of Hogwart's lore that she once was.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 was a meandering film. It was the setup. It was the windup before the pitch. And it was boring. Not only did I not know what was going on with the main characters, I did not care. There was this supposed sense of urgency but I had no frame of reference on the passage of time. Of all the movies thus far, I feel this one relied heaviest on the viewer bringing their own knowledge to the movie. I am certain things of consequence were happening onscreen. As one who hasn't read the books, I just didn't know it. I do want to mention how bad ass I thought the whole sequence was explaining the story of the Deathly Hallows. It was fantastic story-telling.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 was the big payoff. It started with the same moment as the first one ended. And it was a fuckin' ride the entire time. No holds barred. This movie was exciting from start to finish. It built on the previous films and came together marvelously. I am certain it did not do the immensity of the books justice but it performed quite well on film.

Fifteen Movies in Ten Days, Day 5

2011-12-26T23:59:00.000-08:00

Fifteen Movies in Ten Days, Day 4 (Merry Christmas)

2011-12-25T17:42:00.000-08:00

Fifteen Movies in Ten Days, Day 3 (Christmas Eve)

2011-12-24T21:45:00.000-08:00

Alice In Wonderland*
Archer: Season 2
~~Avatar~~
~~Batman: The Dark Knight~~
~~Burn After Reading~~
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1*
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2*
Inception
Ip Man*
Red*
Sherlock Holmes*
Star Trek
~~Sucker Punch~~
True Grit*
Where the Wild Things Are

Five down, ten to go.

Spent the day with family. Met my dad's side for family time at my mamaw's house at noon. I don't know how many more people we could have fit into that house. It was packed. And that family is growing so fast I can honestly say I don't know a good deal of them any longer.

Came back home. I changed into comfy cozies. On top of eye issues and double ear infections I think I've also picked up a cold. Fantastic!

Dinner at 5:30pm with the immediate family. Presents after that. The kids (including me) were stoked. They got awesome toys. I got awesome clothes - a nice scarf, a new Polo, a very nice wool trench, and some Crocs. Melisssss also got me a cute little plush Boba Fett with a JGumbo's gift card... so thoughtful! A stocking full of candy and fruit rounded out the haul.

We had started White Christmas with Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye earlier in the afternoon before watching Will Farrell's Elf (bonus Christmas movies!). So after everyone left we finished White Christmas. It was cute... for a 1954 film. After that mom, dad, and I knocked one more off my list - the Coen brother's Burn After Reading. Great film, so funny, so quirky.

Fifteen Movies in Ten Days, Day 2

2011-12-23T22:00:00.000-08:00

Alice In Wonderland*

Archer: Season 2 (came in the mail today)
~~Avatar~~
~~Batman: The Dark Knight~~
Burn After Reading
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1*
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2*
Inception
Ip Man*
Red*
Sherlock Holmes*
Star Trek
~~Sucker Punch~~
True Grit*
Where the Wild Things Are

Wrapped presents, did some laundry, and helped clean the house today. Still suffering a double-ear infection and also waging a seemingly losing battle against the eczema on my eyelids (steroids in my eyes and another steroid, which under no circumstances should touch my eyeball lest I tempt cataracts and blindness, on my lid... JEEBUS CHRISTMAS), so I thought it would be a good time to fit in one of the longer movies from the list: Avatar. I told mom and dad is was like Dances With Wolves in space. They dug it... but their little minds weren't ready for the over-3 hour director's extended cut. I think they were ready to check out after the first disc :)

Went to the UofL basketball game tonight with Debes. Had a blast, as I knew I would. I dropped off Linahan's copy of Archer: Season 2 on his desk before the game. Then after the game I snagged it and promised to deliver it this weekend.

After I got home I figured I'd sneak in another movie before bed time: Sucker Punch. I saw it in the theater and, frankly, that is probably where one should see it. It was good, and dad loved it (his favorite of the bunch so far), but it lacked the punch it delivered when viewed on the big screen (pun totes intended).

Christmas festivities begin tomorrow so I'm not sure if I'll be doing much movie viewing. Plus I promised Ger that I would log onto CoH tomorrow night. Oh, and gratz to Ger who has been promoted to Red Team leader. Go Red!!!

Fifteen Movies in Ten Days

2011-12-22T17:48:00.000-08:00

I'm in a movie watching mood and plan on watching the following fifteen movies over the next ten days:

Alice In Wonderland*
Archer: Season 2 (pre-ordered, shipping before Christmas)
Avatar
~~Batman: The Dark Knight~~
Burn After Reading
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1*
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2*
Inception
Ip Man*
Red*
Sherlock Holmes*
Star Trek
Sucker Punch
True Grit*
Where the Wild Things Are

* Denotes a movie I've never even seen

Watched Alice in Wonderland and Batman: The Dark Knight today. Several trailers came out this week - one of which was for Batman: Dark Knight Rises. That got me in the mood for The Dark Knight. Plus mom and dad hadn't seen it yet and I wanted them to see Heath Ledger in his second-to-last performance.

For the record, the other trailers were for The Hobbit, Jack the Giant Killer, Wrath of the Titans, and Prometheus. I'm pretty jazzed about all of them!

Hilurtviyscavtrwfedy p?!?!

2011-12-18T18:49:00.000-08:00

"Will and I ate vey hilurtviyscavtrwfedy p"

What the hell does that even mean?

FML

2011-12-17T23:59:00.000-08:00

Nuff said.

Kids' Holiday Party

2011-12-16T23:59:00.000-08:00

Emma and Babuke made it to the holiday party this afternoon and we all had a flippin' blast! We saw the Chik-fil-A cow (Luke DID NOT like the cow but eventually built up the courage to give him a high five). We made cookies. We ate the cookies. We drank Juicy Juice (100% juice, right?). We saw Santa Claus (another high five was delivered by Lukey). Emma was so patient waiting in line for a creation from the balloon guy. Luke and I ran around the office. We ate chicken. He hit up Amrita's candy cache - Reece's Pieces, M&Ms, Crunch bars, and suckers. I changed a big ol' nasty diaper in the bathroom. Luke and I rode the elevator. The balloon guy twisted up a pink elephant for Emma and a Lightning McQueen for Luke. They went home jacked up on sugar. Hopefully at some point they went asleep.

Pretty good day

2011-12-15T20:26:00.000-08:00

Woke up with a 6am text. Fell back asleep thinking about things. Woke up and struck an accord with Jooj. Not the best deal for me but I think it will work out best for us in the long-run. Showered, shaved, dressed. Good news from the cleaners. Pay day! Productive morning. Skyline for lunch with Debes. Productive day. Left early to go to the bank. Got mortgage straightened out. Car loan didn't quite work out. Oh well. Delicious dinner of sun-dried tomatoes, asparagus, and portobello mushrooms in pasta. Mickey Mouse Club and Agent Oso. Run over to Hatler. Move some furniture. Chill with Jooj. Hug kids. Pack up a few things. Eat some pizza. Head to Best Buy. Pick up keyboard and mouse and a $10 copy of Inglorious Basterds. Come home. Talk with mom and dad. Watch football. Play Plants Versus Zombies. Nightly concert from dad. Blog. Budget. Think about what kind of desk I'm going to buy. Sleep.

Studio Move

2011-12-14T20:59:00.000-08:00

I have my paints and brushes and jars back with me. It's not quite a full-blown studio move but it's a start. I was so inspired by the Willem de Kooning exhibit at the MoMA in NYC. I hated it that things turned out the way they did after I got back. I'd like to be back in that creative frame of mind again. I was truly ready to squeeze some creative juices out.

Ew, that came out a little gross.

Fell asleep a winner...

2011-12-13T07:59:00.000-08:00

... but woke up a loser.

The overnight points adjustment ruined the FFL championship run for the Wyld Stallyns. Some bad coaching decisions doomed us as early as Thursday night's game. I just had so much going on that FFL was not a priority. Drats!

So while our opponent will be battling in the semi-finals the Wyld Stallyns (7-5, 1-1) will be scrapping it for third place. Can't wait 'til next year.

In other FFL news, the L'ville Gunners (4-8, 1-0) crushed their opponent over the last two-week play-off game and will be playing in the consolation brackets for fifth over the next two weeks.

I do so love FFL. But I'm always glad when it's over. Then I can stop worrying about stats and just watch some damn football.

Oh Lawd...

2011-12-12T19:13:00.000-08:00

... won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz?

Actually, ignore that request. I just bought one for myself tonight :)

Last post

2011-12-02T20:03:00.000-08:00

This will be my last post for a while. The words that I write, and even the words I don't write, are being used against me.

Funny, I was just telling someone yesterday that, of all my resolutions, blogging everyday was the one I thought I would drop first. As it turns out, completing that task was well in hand.

Adios. Ciao. Bai.

80.01% | 173.53 lbs. (???.? lbs.) | 20% (10 of 50) | 91.51% (334 of 365)

Still a blur today (Great News*)

2011-11-29T21:06:00.001-08:00

Wake up call! Will forgot his backpack. So much for sleeping in and getting a haircut. Shower. Drive to Hatler. Pick up backpack. How do you forget a backpack? Drive to St. X. Drop off backpack. Late for work. Morning tea and oatmeal. Busy, busy. Work on query. Interrupted by Infrastructure. Denial of Service attack? Bah! No way. Not from Oil. Interrupted by QA. Alert Tool down. OH CRAP! Fixed. Interrupted by hunger. Lunchtime. Bazos with Hills, Sneaks, and Amrita. Back to work. Query. Nasty query. Debes has no help (but offers a nice suggestion). Nastier query. Eddie steps in to help. Eddie steps back. Final query works but isn't that pretty. Great news*. Leave work. Pick up dry-cleaning. Change. Drive to Hatler. Grab Will. Go to Oxmoor. Go to Apple Store. No need to talk to Geniuses. Problem solved. Pick up gift. Grab Skyline. Eat. Talk with Jooj. Observant kid. Hang with Will. Watch video game play. Watch YouTube videos. Epic Rap Battles of History! Leave. Drop off blues. Would you fucking believe that it is still raining?!?!?! Drive home. Rachel texting me, trying to get me to come out. Jooj texting me, Jack fell down the steps. Just want this day to end so I can go to bed. Sweet dreams. Get home. Manscape. Shower. Finally convince Rachel that I'm not coming out. Catch up on blogging. Pack. Oh shit, it's 1:13am!

Still a blur today. I just don't feel like I'm catching up. And yet do I stop? No. No, I don't. Does something have to give? Perhaps. Not certain yet. Must. Keep. Going.

* My BFF at work put in her two-week notice last week, making this effectively her last week. Well, nothing is set in stone yet, but it appears that she may be around a wee bit longer. If things go her way, she'll be working three days a week for at least the next couple of months. With so much going on in my life - so much in flux, in motion, in a blur - it's comforting to know that I'll have one of my rock solid supports around just a wee bit longer.

80.01% | 173.53 lbs. (168.6 lbs.) | 20% (10 of 50) | 91.23% (333 of 365)

Life in Fragments

2011-11-28T23:59:00.000-08:00

Wake up. Shower. Sneak out. Commute (Jesus, it's *still* raining?). Work. Meet. Meet. Work. Soup for lunch. Work. Work some more. Meet. Run a quick errand to the shoe shop (damn this rain). Work. Late for dinner. Change. Eat. Play. Leave (Still raining!!!). Sam's (weeknight is *the* time to go). Dog treats. Tea juice. Dog treats. Gatorade. Blueberries. Dog treats. Bacon bits. Stop by Hatler. Impromptu visit with Will. Watch video game footage. Doze off. Say good night. Drive to Target (OMG, *still* raining). Comfy cozies. Aquaphor. Trimmers. Drive home (fuck me - STILL raining). Good night!

I feel like I'm living my life in a blur right now. I live my life in fragments. I do this and I do that and I do the next thing. There is no real cohesion. Is that a bad thing? Good? I'm not sure. I don't feel like I have time to catch my breath. But is that such a bad thing right now?

I feel like I'm a good worker bee, a good step-dad-from-a-distance, a good still-technically-a-husband, a good son, a good uncle, a good friend. Or at least good enough. And that's about all I can give right now. I am giving all I've got and trying not to take any more for myself than I have to.

80.01% | 173.55 lbs. (169.4 lbs.) | 20% (10 of 50) | 90.96% (332 of 365)

Easy Day, Unbelievable Ending

2011-11-27T23:59:00.000-08:00

Woke up early. Showered. Went down to Toast. Picked up George. Drove to the new Toast. Dropped off Cliffie. Helped clean up some leaks from the ceiling. Came back home. Switched out car. Met Kelsey at Hatler to wish her off. Ran over to Melisssss' house to feed the pets. Sounds like a busy day so far, eh? The first few hours of the day were. The next fourteen hours were easy peasy.

Sat around. Played a bit. Smiled. Relaxed. Helped with some Christmas decorations. Had some laughs. Meant to go to Trader Joe's. Drove around in the rain instead. What a gloomy day. Gloom. Glooooooooom. Had a serious talk with my BFF. Helped out around the house. Made dinner plans. Salmon, greens, and roasted sweet potatoes. DELICIOUS! And dessert? Stroopwafels!!! Are you fucking kidding me?!?!? (No, no I am not) Had a few drinks. Sat around for a bit. Chitting and/or chatting. Time got away from me.

Then I realized that I may be in trouble. The night was supposed to end with dinner. And end early. One drink led to two which may or may not have led to a third - I can't remember. Either way, the good times continued until it was getting a little too late. Since it was *supposed* to be an early evening I had left my house key at the house. Once I realized this I sped home... to a dark house with locked doors... in the cold... in the rain... with no key to the house and no key to Hatler and no key to work. I was soooooooooooooooooooo fucked!!! And I had to pee.

So I stood there under the awning, trying to think of anything I could do other than sleep in my damn car. I held my phone and stared at it, ready to text someone - anyone - who could deliver a miracle. Call the house? No way. I fear the wrath of mom like I fear the wrath of Khan!

Then dad's face appeared through the window in the door. ARE. YOU. FUCKING. KIDDING. ME??? He hadn't gone to bed just yet. He had been on the third floor, brushing his teeth, looking out the window, when he saw my headlights reflect off the neighbor's house. He thought to himself, "I bet that's Eric." I haven't wanted to kiss my dad since... well, shit, I don't ever remember wanting to kiss my dad :)

I slept like a baby and have never been happier to be in my little dinky room on the third floor!

80.01% | 173.56 lbs. (170.0 lbs.) | 20% (10 of 50) | 90.68% (331 of 365)

Hard Day

2011-11-26T23:59:00.001-08:00

Busy bouncing between my sister's house dog-sitting, Hatler, and mom and dad's. Feel like I'm always on the go. Took a little time out during the morning to do some window shopping at The Summit. Sales were still going on strong but I wasn't there so much to buy. Felt antsy the whole time - couldn't relax. Felt like I was on a timer. But it was still a neat morning. Nice way to start the day.

Then switched gears and headed over to Hatler. Moved some furniture. Then busted up some heavy-duty chests down in the basement so we could haul those old-ass pieces out (they were there when we moved in). I was pretty wiped after that. But I took the time I had left to finish up a painting of my niece Caroline (put the finishing touches on the newest piece for Toast, Cliffie, the day before). Between the moving and the painting my body was devastated.

I came back home and showered up. Then I headed back out to Melisssss' house to hang out with the dogs. I had a gluttonous meal from Burger King - a double cheeseburger, large onion rings dutch apple pie, and a large diet Coke... and ANOTHER double cheeseburger. Good lawd. I watched Conan the Barbarian followed by X-men: First Class. Both were somewhat entertaining. Neither were mind-blowing.

Best line of the night: "I'd rather lose you for one night than lose you forever."

Tucked the dogs in. Locked up. And headed home.

80.01% | 173.57 lbs. (169.0 lbs.) | 20% (10 of 50) | 90.41% (330 of 365)

Black Friday Extravaganza

2011-11-25T23:59:00.000-08:00

I had checked the ads, both print and online, from the previous day. I was ready. My plan was to be at my first stop, Target, at 7am.

I woke up at 4:16am. I was ready to go. So I showered and headed out. Target at 5am. Earbuds in. Jamming to iTunes. Shopping at my own pace. Not a care in the world.

Target. Express (visiting my cousin Rachel - not really there to buy). Gap. Good morning, sunshine! Target #2. Meijer. Old Navy. Best Buy. Chik-fil-A (chicken biscuit breakfast - yummy!). Dillards. Dillards again. Lunch at El Nopal. Target #3.

DVDs, DVDs, and DVDs. Candyland. Night-vision goggles. Polo shirts. Nice slacks. Sony headphones. Flash drive. Secret Santa gift. Jeans. Thermal. Sweaters. Undies.

Overall the day was without any headaches of any sort. I managed to luck out and avoid all major crowd activity. I never had to wait in line too terribly long. Never felt cramped. It was a very enjoyable shopping day.

80.01% | 173.59 lbs. (169.6 lbs.) | 18% (9 of 50) | 90.14% (329 of 365)

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T18:33:00.001-08:00

Today I am thankful for family. I am thankful for loving parents, for an adoring niece and nephew, and for a great sister and brother-in-law.

Today I am thankful for extended family. I am thankful for their assurance and their compassion.

Today I am thankful for friends. I am thankful for my fellow adventurers and for friends of yesteryear.

Today I am thankful for the ability to smile in the face of these unsure days. I am thankful for the little moments. I am thankful for the funny moments. I am thankful for the neat moments.

Today I am thankful for Kels and Will. They took time out of their day with their mom and their dad to stop by and drop in on me and my fam. I love you guys.

Today I am still thankful for the family that I no longer can call my own. I am thankful that I was a loving husband to Jooj. I am thankful that I was a fun uncle to five lovely nieces and one spectacular nephew. I hope I had a positive impact in your lives during my time.

So there are plenty of things to lament over, to mourn, to cry about. But these things are not things that I need to dwell on today. What I choose to celebrate are the things I mentioned above - the things and people and friends and family that I am thankful for. I love you all.

85.17% | 173.60 lbs. (168.2 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 89.86% (328 of 365)

A Fun Day ("Porn and Chocolate")

2011-11-23T05:22:00.001-08:00

I cut out of work early today to pick up Kelsey (after dropping Eddie off at the airport for a holiday visit home to Detroit). She is in town for the Thanksgiving holiday and had plans to head over to mom and dad's for some punkin pie and to visit. I picked her up after getting her hair did and brought her over to the 'rents' house. Melisssss and the kids were waiting there to greet her as well. Everyone was happy to see her.

While visiting Kelsey told mom that her friend had texted earlier and told her that he was getting her some "Porn and chocolate"... well, that's what I heard at least. Thankfully, I was there when he had initially texted and knew that he was, in fact, buying her *foreign* chocolate. What a difference a few consonants make. Hahahahahahahaha!

Afterwards I headed out to the house to drop off Kels and visit with Jooj. She's been busy getting the house in order. I'm gonna have to pull my weight this weekend. We chatted for a while - laughed and had a good time. I grabbed some sweaters, some CDs, and some movies and headed out.

I polished off the night helping make chocolate chip punkin cookies. It's a neat combination of flavors. They were delicioso!!!

Fell asleep on the couch playing Bloons Tower Defense 4. Jeebus Christmas I can't stop playing that silly little game! :)

I've dropped my lifting weight from my footer, as I no longer have regular access to my weights. I'll get back on it soon though.

85.17% | 173.62 lbs. (167.2 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 89.59% (327 of 365)

I am not the bad guy

2011-11-22T13:42:00.001-08:00

So I'm hearing through the grapevine that people are giving Jooj advice. This advice, from what I understand, is well-intended and meant to put her in a position where she protects herself. I appreciate the people that are looking out for her. She needs your support.

I do ask that you try and remember that I loved her dearly for 5 years and that I do not bear her any ill will now. In fact, I hope only the best for her. I want to be a positive influence in the kids' lives. I want to make certain that Kels gets the college experience she deserves. I want to make certain she gets the Civic. And I want Jooj to be financially secure all along the way. She and I worked many hours on 5 drafts of a budget that we finally agreed to - and it is fair to both of us while allowing us to save money in the case we take a loss on the house. Mortgage and bills are paid for. Car payments are made. Tuition is paid. She stays in the house until it's sold. Jooj has her own account and still has full access to our joint account. I'm paying the bills but she has full access to see everything I do. I am not trying to hide anything.

I believe all of this is very fair. Is it possible that I'll be a jerk and screw her over? Sure. But I'm not. And I'd like people to suspend their disbelief long enough to give me a chance to prove that. I've been going out to the house as often as I can to do what I can around the house (granted, I've been sick and my effort has been minimal recently), with the pets, or to hang out with Will. I don't want to drive the Civic but I am hanging onto it until I can get it in Kelsey's hands. Kelsey's tuition? Nothing else needs to be said about that.

I am not Jooj's enemy and I am not your enemy. I've done everything I can to adhere to Jooj's wishes. It is unfortunate that things are happening as they are. But I am not the bad guy in this, nor do I want to do any harm to anyone. My living situation is not ideal. I am making sacrifices to ensure that things work out as smoothly as possible between us. I do this for the everyone else's sake. I just want to do the right thing - or at least the closest thing to the right thing.

Some assumptions have been made about the cryptic nature of my recent blogs posts. I think it's easy to assume the worst. I can't blame anyone for jumping to conclusions. But I do ask that you resist. I've been doing everything I can to stay busy and to have fun. In many cases this type of fun is adult fun - not necessarily something that needs to be detailed in a public blog.

So please don't demonize me. Sides are picked during things like this. But they don't have to be diametrically opposing sides. If Jooj and I can be friendly I am hoping that there may be some gray area instead of absolute black and white. But if you have to make me out to be the villian - if you just have to make me out to be the bad guy who takes the blame for the whole darn thing - then do it. All I ask in return is that you be there for Jooj that much more intently and that you love her with as much hate as you hold for me.

85.17% | 173.64 lbs. (???.? lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 89.32% (326 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Big Day

2011-11-21T20:41:00.001-08:00

The morning started early, but it was all good. This weekend found me short on sleep and firing on all cylinders. But I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Puppy Dogs + Skinny Vanilla Latte + New Socks + Egg McMuffin = Strength to Do What Must Be Done. Fact. It's just simple math.

The new hire Ravi started. Team dynamics about to change for the better.

Lunch at Granville. Holy smokes that Tijuana Burger and Cheese Fries kick all kinds of ass.

Great day at work.

Secret Santa assignments passed out among the Adventure Club. Good pick!

Great conversation on the way home from work :)

Picked up a new wireless router at Best Buy. Interwebs, here I come!

Walked in with both kids here at the house. What a treat (but they were being little sh!ts).

Talked with Jooj. Unloaded some frustrations on her. Tired of talking in circles. Tired of the bickering. Tired of the antics. And I told her, bluntly, to just back off.

Watched a drama-filled The Walking Dead.

Interwebs flowing wirelessly. Caught up on blogging, surfing, and gossip. Next up, email...

Best idea that is kinda awful and kinda awesome ever. Ever? EVAR!!!!1!!11!!!one!!!!1!!!

Pulled out the win when it counted in FFL. Go Wyld Stallyns!!!

Now I've got to remember to start weighing myself in the mornings. I keep forgetting.

85.17% | 173.64 lbs. (???.? lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 89.04% (325 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Great Day

2011-11-20T23:59:00.000-08:00

What a great day! Morning starts with a big bang. Light breakfast. Playtime at the park. Nap time. Head to the house to hang with Will. Head home. Bath time. Wind down. Day ends with an even bigger bang.

I can't begin to explain what an incredible day it was. I do not have the words.

85.17% | 173.64 lbs. (???.? lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 88.77% (324 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Hot Toddy

2011-11-19T23:59:00.000-08:00

I've been feeling pretty rotten all week long. I've done my best to stave off serious illness by chowing down on Zicam, drinking OJ, and even sucking down an Odwalla Superfood. I've felt like I can't shake this thing, regardless of what I do. Last night, before heading to bed, I tried a hot toddy. It was delish. And what happened next was incredible. I can't blame everything on the hot toddy but I'm sure it helped.

85.17% | 173.64 lbs. (???.? lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 88.49% (323 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Old Guys vs. Young Guys

2011-11-18T23:59:00.000-08:00

Today was the Genscape Old Guys vs. Young Guys Football game. I'll cut right to the chase - the Old Guys lost 6-7. It was a ton of fun - a nail-biter. Not the slaughter that was last year's game. And of the 6 TDs the Old Guys scored yours truly scored 2 of them. I possibly could have scored 2 more - 1 on a long bomb that I lost in the sun that bounced off my chest and another kick-off return where I had beaten the last man but was *tackled* out of bounds (yes, it is flag football).

After the game I met up with the head cheerleader (who is also the homecoming queen) and made out with her under the bleachers!!! Hahahaha :P

85.17% | 173.64 lbs. (???.? lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 88.22% (322 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Mark it 148, Dude!

2011-11-17T12:37:00.001-08:00

Tonight the Oil group celebrated its year-end bash with some bowling at Vernon Lanes and beers at Sergio's. Fun was had, fo sho. There was one particular highlight to the evening. It wasn't the chicken nachos, although they were damn tasty. It wasn't the ceviche, although it was damn tasty. It wasn't the literally hundreds of beers at Sergio's, although that was damn impressive. It wasn't the gluten-free beer, although it wasn't bad. It wasn't starting the night with a triple of Basil Hayden, although that was brilliant!

I am not a an avid bowler. I enjoy it. But I do not practice nor do I ever bowl with any frequency. I enjoy it, but I do not normally score well. I expect to bowl between 80 and 120, with the average of 100. The highest I had ever bowled was 144... until tonight! I rolled a 148.

85.17% | 173.64 lbs. (167.6 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 87.95% (321 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Immortals

2011-11-16T23:59:00.000-08:00

Met up with Akers and Eddie last night to see the movie Immortals. And yes, this time I went to the right theater (don't get that reference, check TRON Post-mortem). Overall, I really enjoyed it.

Gawds. Titans. Oracles. Greeks. Mythology. Swordplay. Bloodshed. Imagine these things all wrapped up by Tarsem's unique visual style and what you get is Immortals. I've joked that the movie should be called 600 (as in, the sequel to the movie 300). But this movie bears little resemblance to that movie. True, they are both filled with Greeks and swords and bloodshed and fantastical elements. But it ends there.

The story involves Theseus, played by the guy who will soon be playing Superman in that upcoming movie. He is caught up in the mess as the mythical King Hyperion sweeps the land on a genocidal quest to find the Epirus Bow, a legendary weapon lost by the Gawds during their battles with the Titans. Theseus, the Virgin Oracle, and friends escape capture. Theseus, the Virgin Oracle, and friends face certain capture. Poseidon makes a big tidal wave, thereby allowing Theseus, the Virgin Oracle, and friends to escape capture. They all go back to Theseus' hometown, where Theseus discovers the Epirus Bow and fights the Minotaur guy. Theseus uses the Epirus Bow to allow the Virgin Oracle and friends to escape capture. The Virgin Oracle loses one of the words in her name (psssst, it's *not* Oracle). They fight some of Hyperion's soldiers. The Epirus Bow is stolen. Theseus, the (no longer Virgin) Oracle, and friends escape capture when Ares and Athena come to Earth and kick every kind of ass. They go Mount Tarterus, where the Titans are held and where King Hyperion is staging his army. Big fight. Gawds versus Titans. Massive carnage. Sad but happy ending. Hooray!

Visually a very pleasing movie. The storytelling was a bit lame. The fighting was a little over the top (although the scenes where Gawds fought were very well done). Overall I liked it very much.

85.17% | 173.66 lbs. (167.0 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 87.67% (320 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Midnight Release - Assassin's Creed: Revelations

2011-11-15T13:29:00.000-08:00

Last night, at the stroke of midnight, I should have been at Gamestop to pick up the video game Assassin's Creed: Revelations for Will. There are very few reasons why I would ever consider not going. But one of those reasons was proposed to me last night. TAKE WILL THERE AND PICK IT UP TOGETHER TODAY!!!

Will needs a ride home from school today. I've got rides to give out. After a little convincing, I was given the green light to go pick up the boy today. On our way home, we'll pick up some crickets for the dragons and Assassin's Creed: Revelations. Then I can take him home and check out the game as he plays it - just like old times. I'm so excited!

I'm kind of nervous 'cause this is the first time we will have actually spoken to each other in a while. I've been so sad 'cause I've lost my little buddy - or at least that's how I've felt. I hope things aren't too awkward today. I truly don't believe they will be.

88.25% | 173.69 lbs. (168.4 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 87.40% (319 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

"Siri, where is the closest liquor store?"

2011-11-14T13:28:00.001-08:00

I got a new iPhone 4s. Yay me. This is surprising to many 'cause I've been rocking the same sliver phone for, like, eight years (Zach, I'm gonna miss you, buddy). Welcome to this century, right? Right.

So the first thing I asked Siri was:

"Siri, where is the closest liquor store?"*

She took a moment to think it over and responded:

"I have found 19 locations, 17 of which are close to you."

Siri and I are going to get along *juuuuuuust* fine :)

* Technically, this was the second question I asked Siri but was the first one she answered correctly. The first question I asked was "Siri, is it going to rain tomorrow?" She couldn't tell me. What? C'mon, man! That was a softball. You should've hit that one out of the park! Odd, since she knows my location. But I also found it strangely comforting that Siri puts more importance on my state of mind (or lack thereof) than my state of environmental being. Transcendental, baby!

88.25% | 173.70 lbs. (168.6 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 87.12% (318 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Settling

2011-11-13T23:59:00.000-08:00

Things are settling down. I'm catching up on some sleep. Jooj and I hammered out a budget that is fair and works for each of us. She and I also seem to be moving in a good, healthy direction given the situation at hand. Mom cleared out some drawers and most of the closet so I can walk around my bedroom and start moving out of my suitcases. I've had to move bathrooms and feel like I'm finally getting used to my routine (three different showers and two different beds over the course of three nights is unsettling). I feel a little less like a guest at mom and dad's and a little more like part of the scenery.

I still feel like I'm in transit - on the go. I still don't feel like I'm "home". But I'm getting there.

88.25% | 173.72 lbs. (167.4 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 86.85% (317 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

3:56 AM

2011-11-12T03:56:00.000-08:00

Last night (well, and technically this morning - as in just now) there was a planned outage at work. I was going to be around and volunteered to help out. The outage was scheduled to begin at 6:30 and was expected to take 4 hours. Things started and progressed as scheduled. But then something happened. The outage window came and went. I stood by, waiting to make my moves. A few minutes after midnight I snapped to attention (I had dozed off). It was time!

Starts. Restarts. Checking. Restarting. Production servers first. Then QA. Troubleshooting continued for the next four hours. We left things in a stable state and I logged off at 3:56 AM. Long night at the office!

88.25% | 173.74 lbs. (???.?? lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 86.57% (316 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Midnight Release - Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

2011-11-11T05:00:00.001-08:00

Last night saw the second midnight release of the "week of three releases" and I was there at midnight to pick it up. This time the game was Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.

The crowd was non-existent, much to my delight after the horde at Monday's CoD:MW3 release. I walked right in to a lightly crowded Gamestop, ever so slightly smelling of geeks (sweet, salty, smokey scent). I gave them my phone number and walked out with my previously fully-paid copy of the game and the 648-page game guide.

And you better believe that he'll read that game guide, cover to cover - probably multiple times.

Next week, Assassin's Creed: Revelations!

88.25% | 173.74 lbs. (???.?? lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 86.30% (315 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Thanks, Mom and Dad

2011-11-10T06:22:00.001-08:00

Thank you mom and dad for opening your home to me. This marks the fourth time in my life I've called the third floor of your house my home. Still getting settled. Nice shower head, dad (why couldn't that have been installed back in the high school days? Hahahaha!).

88.25% | 173.74 lbs. (167.4 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 86.03% (314 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Keeping my mouth shut

2011-11-09T23:59:00.000-08:00

I'm not saying what happened tonight. I know things are tough right now. But I expect a little more than what I'm getting. I want to be friendly. I want to be civil. But there are only so many antics a person can withstand before breaking down and getting ugly right back.

This is not a warning or a threat. It is simple fact.

88.25% | 173.76 lbs. (167.0 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 85.75% (313 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Midnight Release - Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3

2011-11-08T19:34:00.000-08:00

Last night marked the first midnight release of a rapid-fire succession of three upcoming title releases in the next two weeks. The game in question? Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3.

I pulled up at midnight and OMFG THERE ARE OVER ONE HUNDRED PEOPLE ALREADY IN LINE!!! For just a split-second, I considered saying "Fuck it," driving home, and going to bed. But I dug deep (actually, I didn't have to dig too deep - I just thought how excited I'd be at 15 if someone were to do that for me... and then realized that I'd be *that* someone) and stood in line for 40 minutes. Game in hand, I drove 20 minutes to his dad's, slipped the game in the mail slot, drove 20 minutes back, and CAH-rashed.

Gonna do it again Thursday at midnight for Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.

88.25% | 173.79 lbs. (167.4 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 85.48% (312 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Happy Birfday, Caroline

2011-11-07T18:06:00.000-08:00

I share the same sentiment that I felt yesterday with your cousin and I will say it again. I'm not sure how much weight my words carry these days with everything going on, but I love you and hope you have a wonderful 20th birfday, Caroline.

88.25% | 173.81 lbs. (166.6 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 85.21% (311 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Happy Birfday, Leigh Anne

2011-11-06T14:30:00.000-08:00

I don't know how much this means to you with everything else going on, but I've immensely enjoyed being your uncle for the last five years. You've always been my #1 fave niece (and I think my gift still kicks ass... hope you get it somehow).

88.25% | 173.83 lbs. (164.4 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 84.93% (310 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Separation

2011-11-05T23:59:00.000-07:00

Last night, after being cornered and pressured into answering some tough questions with brutal honesty, Julie and I have decided to separate.

I'm sorry.

88.25% | 173.87 lbs. (166.4 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 84.66% (309 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

I Lost My Tea Cup - Meltdown in 3, 2, 1...

2011-11-04T23:59:00.000-07:00

I sat down at my desk today and wanted to make my morning cup of tea. But my tea cup was missing. Huh?

Such a minor thing. But my anxiety immediately shot through the roof. I nearly was feeling dizzy. Was this a panic attack? An impending nervous breakdown? I was staving off a major meltdown and was doing everything I could to avert emotional disaster.

Was this really over a missing tea cup? No, probably not. There has been a lot on my mind recently. A lot. If you read my blog, or if you are me, then you know that there has been plenty going on. But there has been other stuff too. It's just a mess. So much so that, obviously, all it takes is a missing tea cup to begin to tear down every emotional defense I've put up.

The tea cup showed up later in the dishwasher. I suppose that either I left it somewhere or someone nabbed it, thinking it was a company cup. No worries though. Tea cup found. Emotional defenses holding.

88.25% | 173.89 lbs. (165.8 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 84.38% (308 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Two Day

2011-11-03T23:59:00.000-07:00

Wake up.
Hung over.
Morning routine.
Drop off.
Drive home.
Police arrive.
No loss.
No report.
Bank visit.
Direct deposit.
Send fax.
Fax fail.
Skype madness.
Fantastic Lunch.
Senior Iguanas.
(Mister Lizard)
Change control.
FANTASTIC NEWS!
Frantic discussions.
Hectic changes.
Hasty testing.
Late deploy.
Wife pickup.
Target shopping.
Feeder's shopping.
Come home.
Feed dragons.
Cricket murder.
Spiff up.
Willow Room.
Rub elbows.
Talk shop.
Fancy dinner.
Autumn Salad.
Foie gras.
(Iron Chef)
Lobster grits.
Main entree.
Double meat.
Edamame hummus.
Bourbon balls.
Fireplace conversation.
Red wine.
Silly talks.
Tired eyes.
So tired.
Reality check.
Drive home.
Good night.
Pass out.

88.25% | 173.92 lbs. (165.4 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 84.11% (307 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

"Online banking breach"

2011-11-02T10:39:00.000-07:00

First thing is first - HAPPY BIRFDAY, WILL!!!

Okay, now onto some crazy shit...

I came home yesterday and checked my online bank account. WHAT?!?!?! Nearly all of our money was GONE! I checked on activity and saw that a wire transfer had been initiated that day to another bank account at another bank. I didn't mess around - I jumped right into the car and sped to my local branch.

After an initial "are you for serious?" series of questions the account specialist knew we were not fucking with him (Jooj met me there) and was quick to jump to action. He was on the phone and the transaction was stopped, right then and there. Whew!

That was the good news.

The bad news is that all accounts were frozen. Then we were told that all credit cards and all checking accounts had to be cancelled. I went to the bank this morning to start that process. After about an hour we were more or less squared away. I have to go back tomorrow and Friday to finish up bits. But overall we are heading back into action. I was able to track the account number where the money was going and passed that along to the proper authorities. My bank has opened a case with their fraudulent investigations department regarding the matter. I have also called the police and will be filing a police report tomorrow morning. Then I will alert the credit reporting agencies that I may be the victim of identify theft and send in my paperwork.

Crazy day. Crazy world we live in. However, I'm an optimist. I know it could have been much, much worse. In a perfect world someone somewhere catches the perpetrator. At the very least, I hope he gets a headache when this one account gets shutdown. Muwahahahaha!

88.25% | 173.95 lbs. (167.0 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 83.84% (306 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Star Wars: Battlefront 3 News (Perhaps)

2011-11-01T06:12:00.000-07:00

Star Wars: Battlefront 3 is a game I have been anticipating for years. Gamers and nerds know that it has been rumored to be in development forever. Spark Unlimited is a game developer. Rumors have suggested that Spark is working on Star Wars: Battlefront 3 for a while now.

Star Wars: Battlefront 3. Spark Unlimited. Rumors. Rumors are strengthening on the heels of some peculiar tweets from @sparkunlimited on Twitter:

"@spartacus128 Publisher hasn't stated when or where the announcement will take place. The time and place could be close or far, far away."

"@chrisdalton93 The project has been the best on all fronts. From the best we expect the best. I have no doubt this effort will surpass all"

The first tweet really "sparks" my interest (you see that?) with the last few words of "... far, far way". For any Star Wars geek out there that small phrase instantly arouses interest as it hearkens memories of the simple little line that appears before the opening crawl of any Star Wars movie...

"A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..."

I mean, if Spark isn't working on a Star Wars title (even if it isn't Battlefront 3) then they are just fucking with us with a tweet like that.

The other tweet raises my eyebrow simply because of the use of the word "front". There's no need to use that word in the sentence that way. I mean, sure there is. But that's just teasing us if it's Battlefront 3, you know?

I've blogged about this rumor before: Spike TV Video Game Awards (UPDATED). Hell, I've blogged about this damn game plenty...

The big announcement (UPDATED) (Saturday, December 12, 2009)
Disappointed (Tuesday, June 22, 2010)
Spike TV Video Game Awards (UPDATED) (Saturday, December 11, 2010)
Why do I allow myself to get excited? (Monday, June 6, 2011)
Star Wars: Battlefront 3??? (UPDATED) (Thursday, July 21, 2011)

Why do I allow myself to get excited over this? The lack of this game title has been breaking my heart since its predecessor was released on October 31, 2005 (GOOD FUCKING LAWD THAT WAS EXACTLY SIX YEARS AGO!!!).

I say things like:

"How many times have I blogged about the vaporware Star Wars: Battlefront 3? A dozen? How many times has my heart been broken? Every time. Why do I keep letting George Lucas play with my emotions? 'Cause I'm a sucker."

"Fool me once, George Lucas, shame on you. Fool me twice... well, shame on you again. Fool me twelve times? Well, sir... well... super shame on you, you bastard! SHAME!!!"

"I hate to sound like a broken record. Battlefront announcement. Blah blah blah. Could it finally be? Blah blah. Announced? Blah."

"Battlefront 3? Don't get your hopes up, fanboys. I'm a jaded old man that's been burned all too often by that fat bastard George. Dream on!"

"Hahaha! You stupid bitches! The "exciting announcement" was, of course, not Battlefront 3. It was a Star Wars-themed Xbox retailing for $449. Blow me, LucasArts. I can honestly say that I did not, for the first time, get all worked up over the possibility that BF3 was being announced. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 14 times, and maybe I finally learn my lesson. Fuck off, Lucas, you fat fucking Hutt!"

These are the words of a silly boy who will never learn his lesson - like the nerdy kid who keeps asking the prom queen out on dates and never gets the hint when she is always busy (and just too nice to tell him to stop). I hate you Star Wars... I love you Star Wars!!!!

88.25% | 173.97 lbs. (168.8 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 83.56% (305 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

(UN)HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! (UPDATED)

2011-10-31T18:55:00.000-07:00

Halloween. This day is normally my most favorite of the year. Candy, costumes, kids, crisp Autumn weather, pagan undertones. What's not to love? But today? Meh.

The annual Halloween party didn't happen. We didn't stock up on any candy for tonight. The porch light was never even turned on.

The surgery is still affecting me. I'm stressed at work. I wrote some things today I want to regret but I don't. I can't shake this bad mood. Not sure what's exactly is up.

UPDATE:
After 26 years in business the once renowned, premier music store ear X-tacy has forever shut their doors. I have previously blogged how their current store location is a sad shell of its once great footprint in the historic and eclectic Bardstown Road area. This news does not help my mood.

88.25% | 173.99 lbs. (165.2 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 83.29% (304 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

(Blog entry intentionally left blank)

2011-10-30T23:59:00.000-07:00

(Blog entry intentionally left blank)

88.25% | 174.02 lbs. (165.2 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 83.01% (303 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Gratz, Chris and Amrita (Mr. and Mrs. Pettus)

2011-10-29T23:59:00.000-07:00

Morning wedding in Indy. Traditional Sikh wedding. Mimosas. Indian treats. Shoes off. Head covered. Enter the Gurdwara. Prayers and hymns in Hindi. Sweet sacrament. More mimosas. Check in. Lunch. Paneer Masala. Naan. Gulab Jamun. Chill with friends. Walk to liquor store. Day drinking. Absolut fun. Shower. Spiff up. Cocktail hour. Fritters. Crab cakes. Tanq and Tonic. Tanq and Tonic. Kevin! Dinner. Speeches. More Indian delights. Mistaken identity. Tanq and Tonics (rinse, repeat). Dessert station. Congratulating and thanking the parents of the bride. DJ starts spinning... all Indian dance tunes. What's the over/under? Candy bag for Kevin. Scavenger hunting grrrls. Fizzies with Amy. Walk back in the cold. Eventually, a great night winds down to comforting sleep. It was neat!

88.25% | 174.06 lbs. (168.2 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 82.74% (302 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

"... hundreds of thousands of dollars on the line..."

2011-10-28T23:59:00.000-07:00

These words were spoken to me yesterday three different times by two different people as we geared up for an obviously critical deploy scheduled for later that day. I had plans to see off Papa Hayden but was gently guilted into cutting those plans short. I went to the mass, skipped the burial, and headed back to work right as the deploy was to kick off.

Nothing was kicking, suffice to say. And they are lucky I came back, 'cause I stayed 'til nearly 6:30pm straightening out the 11th hour issues we had discovered. Good for a Friday deploy, right? Well, I should hope so, even though we do not normally deploy on Fridays. And my boss was going to be right there in the thick of things to see things off right, right?!? Nope, he was leaving for Vegas.

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot? C'mon, man. Seriously? I don't run the department technically, but I could. Does the department run without me? I guess technically they do. Anyway...

I did what needed to be done to push a noonish deploy. I drafted the change control doc. I delegated the lingering issues. I answered critical questions. I made last-minute judgment calls. We pushed on time. We overcame a hiccup or two with minimal effort. Emails were blasted out during the different stages of the deploy to keep everyone in the loop. In the end, we can all agree that is was a successful deploy. Now Monday, when we setup new subscribers, we'll see if those checks start pouring in.

The day continued positively with a light-hearted date night with Jooj. Dinner at Rafferty's (poor choice - bad recommendation), buzzed-shopping at Target, drinks at Joe's, then put a very happy Jooj to bed. I played CoH for a while, completing a Masters of Statesman TF (one of the hardest accomplishments) with Red Team, before heading to bed.

88.25% | 174.08 lbs. (166.6 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 82.47% (301 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Post 300 in 2011

2011-10-27T06:52:00.000-07:00

"Deep Blue" - performed by Arcade Fire, from the album The Suburbs

Here are my place and time
And here in my own skin
I can finally begin
Let the century pass me by
Standing under night sky
Tomorrow means nothing

I was only a child then
Feeling barely alive when
I heard a song from the speaker of a passing car
And prayed to a dying star
The memory's fading
I can almost remember singing la, la la, la la la la
La la, la la, la la la la

We watched the end of the century
Compressed on a tiny screen
A dead star collapsing and we could see
That something was ending
Are you through pretending?
We saw its signs in the suburbs

You could never have predicted
That he could see through you
Kasparov, Deep Blue, nineteen-ninety-six
Your mind's pulling tricks now
The show is over so take a bow
We're living in the shadows la, la la, la la la la
Oh, la la, la la, la la la la

Hey, put the cellphone down for a while
In the night there is something wild
Can you hear it breathing?
And hey, put the laptop down for a while
In the night there is something wild
I feel it, it's leaving me

La la, la la, la la la la

(I'm not convinced these lyrics are 100% but this is the best these interwebs can currently offer)

I feel tired. And detached. And old. And the future seems like a scary thing for one of the few times in my life.

88.25% | 174.10 lbs. (168.8 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 82.20% (300 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Catching Up (And Random Shit)

2011-10-26T23:59:00.000-07:00

Life, love, the universe, and everything is catching up to me. I've been moving too fast, too distracted, to allow myself to catch up to my self. My head is buzzing from all the buzzworthy buzz going on around me. Heavy feelings are taking their toll - are finally pulling on me, wearing me down. I feel pulled too taut, spread too thin, pushed too hard. At points today I have been overwhelmed, stunned, shocked, speechless, and utterly overcome. I am nearing surreal territory. I need a reality check. I need a break. And I need to stop listening to so much gawddamn sad music.

Here are some random thoughts:

Every one of us will miss the biggest gathering of our closest loved ones. We will totally miss it. They will all get together while we lay there in a casket. I'd like to have a gathering like that while I still walk this world.

I am getting job offers with starting salaries of over 150% of my current salary. What am I supposed to do with those dangling carrots?

The product code for bananas is 4011. How can I *not* self-checkout with that knowledge now?

AP Crafters isn't as bad as Debes led me to believe. The El Vez is a kick-ass burger. And their pretzel and beer cheese is super-duper. Yes, they serve too many fries.

Speaking of kick-ass, I had my ass kicked by the Bumblebee Red Hot at JGumbo's today. ASS KICKED!

I have some pretty spectacular friends. Fact.

The wee baby Logan is a good looking baby. I also noticed that he has 15 letters in his name - 5 in his first, 5 in his middle, and 5 in his last. Thought I should mention that in case anyone cares to know.

Today is today. Tomorrow I switch gears to tomorrow. Then the next day I'm back to today. And so on and so on.

88.25% | 174.12 lbs. (165.8 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 81.92% (299 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

"Stop Made By Will Bearden."

2011-10-25T07:19:00.000-07:00

I have been waiting all season long to hear those words over the loudspeakers at a stadium. In the fourth quarter of the last game of the season last night, I finally heard it.

My excitement boiled over when I saw #32 enter the game. But the clock only had 12 seconds left and dwindling in the 3rd quarter. There wasn't time for a play! The horn sounded. Teams switched fields. My little #32 was still in. "Go Will!" we heard his dad yell over everything else. He lined up in his newly appointed position, Defensive End. The first defensive play saw him beat his offensive lineman and he wrapped up the quarterback. Unfortunately, the ball had only just left his hands. Incomplete. On the next play, #32 engaged his offensive lineman. The ball carrier was shooting through the hole and #32 disengaged and got a hand on the ball runner, taking him down in the process. "Stop Made By Will Bearden," echoed over the loudspeaker. The next play #32 found himself on the ground, under a lineman. Fourth down, he was overpowered by the lineman and on the ground again.

No matter! He returned to the sidelines amidst a roar of "Go Will!" from friends and teammates. There is no doubt in my mind now that we will see Will on the turf for JV, albeit the sidelines, for his sophomore year.

88.25% | 174.15 lbs. (167.0 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 80.64% (298 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Farewell, Papa Hayden... O Hai, Wee Baby Logan

2011-10-24T17:50:00.000-07:00

Wow, the Lawd giveth and the Lawd taketh away. I saw the circle of life happen in the last 24 hours. Papa Hayden found peace after his long, hard battle with cancer. At the hospital across the street, the wee baby Logan made his way into the world.

Farewell, Papa Hayden. You were a good man. You've left behind good kids. You have good grandkids that will help carry on your legacy. You will be missed but the Hayden clan is strong. They will survive. They will tell stories about you for many years to come. You will live on in our memories. They will find comfort in that. Comfort, something I hope you have found. And I hope you have found peace. I hope you've gone home - wherever that place may be.

O hai, wee baby Logan! I don't know too many details but it sounds like you gave your mommy and daddy a bit of a scare. I know I hoped for the best when your daddy wasn't at work today. But then word came that things weren't going as well as we had hoped. We waited to bug your daddy as long as we could but I broke down and had to plead with someone to text your daddy to check in on you. Last we heard you were just about out of the woods, and I'm happy to hear it. I hope you enjoy everyday of your life of ups and downs ahead of you. Make your mommy and daddy proud.

Carbon-based lifeforms... funny things. Rise up from dust. Burn ever so brightly. Return to dust. So goes it.

88.25% | 174.18 lbs. (168.8 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 80.37% (297 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

FFL Midseason Update (UPDATED)

2011-10-23T13:55:00.000-07:00

I'm not happy. Between my two teams I am 7-7 (barring any miracles during the late games today) across 2 leagues in FFL. Neither team can score significant points on a regular basis. The Wyld Stallyns started the season 4-0 and have dropped 3 in a row since. The L'ville Gunners have been trading wins for losses and will end up 3-4 after today. I initially felt that both drafts were strong but my players are not showing the explosive traits I need them to have in order to shake out consistent wins on a weekly basis.

HOLD ON!!! While typing this blog entry, a touchdown from Cassel to Bowe must have been called back after review. That means that the Stallyns are still coming from behind but not as bad off as they were when I started writing this silly post! GO STALLYNS!!!

UPDATE #1:
With a quarter left to go the Stallyns are up by 1, leading 81-80. If this momentum holds this will easily be the most outrageous comeback I've ever witnessed (in my favor).

UPDATE #2:
Wow, just watched Mason Crosby connect on a 56-yard field goal for Green Bay. Most impressive!

UPDATE #3:
Lost, 77-89. Packers gave up more points to the Vikings and Dez Bryant made it into the end zone.

88.25% | 174.20 lbs. (169.4 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 80.10% (296 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

I am thinking of you,

2011-10-22T12:19:00.000-07:00

I have a friend... whose father is hanging onto life. His fight with cancer has concluded and the time for peace is approaching. During this period of waiting I simply cannot imagine what their family members' bodies and minds are going through as they anxiously await the moment for it all to end. I am thinking of you.

I have a friend... who is expecting their first child today. I am so excited for the new life that is about to enter this world and am convinced that my friend will be a wonderful parent. I haven't heard yet so I don't think the birth is happening. Hopefully it all happens fast - for everyone's sake. I am thinking of you.

I have a friend... who is dealing with adjusting to a new situation at home during a tough transition over the coming months. I am proud of their spouse and I know that my friend has the strength to get through this. Keep your head up and take it one day at a time. I am thinking of you.

I have a friend... who will likely be facing a choice to move out of town, perhaps out of the country, in order to allow their spouse to accept an expected promotion. It's a tough spot. They don't want their spouse to not take the promotion and give the impression that upward momentum is not something they are interested in. But leaving home, no matter how far, is a tough call to make. I am thinking of you.

I have a friend... who is having trouble with their spouse. I know they love each other very much. But my friend is questioning their marital resolve. The situation is complicated further by the two small children they share. I just want what's best and for my friend to be happy. I am thinking of you.

I have a friend... who is recovering from gallbladder surgery and still doesn't feel like they are quite back into the swing of things. Just kidding! That's me :)

88.25% | 174.21 lbs. (168.8 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 80.82% (295 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Ninja Scroll

2011-10-21T23:59:00.000-07:00

Over the years I have shared some great anime, both classic and modern, with the kids. We've enjoyed tremendous films like Akira, Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, Howl's Moving Castle, Nausicca of the Valley of the Wind, Appleseed, and Ghost in the Shell. Still, some were a few that were off-limits for one reason or another. Well, tonight, when Kels (who is home from Murray) asked if I'd like to watch some anime I jumped at the chance to bust out one of my all-time faves... Ninja Scroll.

Ninja Scroll . Jubei Kibagami. The Eight Devils of Kimon. Kagero. The Koga Ninja. Dakuan. The Shogun of the Dark. Blood. Swordplay. Nudity. Violence. Sodomy. Throwing stars. Spinning blades. Bamboo forests. Samurai. Ninja. Magic. Hot damn, this movie got it right years ago and, imho, still stands not only the test of time but continues to shine as a testament of what anime aims to be. Ninja Scroll is *not* for everyone. It is anime, in knowing as much you should expect misogynistic, crude, foul, violent imagery. And boy-o-boy this movie delivers.

Haha! I went back and found me gushing over Ninja Scroll years ago (forgive me for incorrectly referencing the Eight Devils of Kimon as the *Seven* Devils of Kimon - just rolls off the tongue better)...

Double Shot of Anime

88.25% | 174.23 lbs. (168.8 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 80.55% (294 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

The Difference Between Vowels and Consonants

2011-10-20T06:35:00.000-07:00

We all know that the letters a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes y are vowels. And we also know that everything else is a consonant. But do you know any difference beyond that? I didn't and I was quite impressed with what I found out.

According to dictionary.com...

... a vowel is a speech sound that is made without constriction of the vocal tract. What does that mean? It means that when you say a vowel, the sound is not stopped by your tongue, teeth, or cheeks. Try it! When you pronounce all of the vowels, your mouth stays open, but for every consonant, your tongue hits your teeth or the top of your mouth.

The word vowel comes from originally from the Latin vox meaning voice. Consonant means “with sound” from the Latin com (with) and sonare (sound).

Makes so much sense!! Furthermore...

Every language has vowels, though some have more vowel sounds than others. Across many languages, all words have to have vowel sounds, but not all words have to have consonants. This is because the sound and volume of spoken language comes from the vowels. The consonants break up the sound that the vowels generate. That’s why it’s impossible to say a string of consonants in a row. By nature, consonants stop the air flowing through the vocal tract, which is why you can say a vowel as long as you have breath, but you can’t draw out a sound like “l” unless you break it up with more vowels, as in “lalala.” This is also why vowels sit in the middle of syllables. They give language form and rhythm.

Strings of consonants sound like parts of words in English. Think of the phrases, “hmm” or “hmph.” They are not complete words, even though they do have some meaning. Without any vowels in languages, we would be left with meaningless consonant strings. Although some languages, like Polish, can have as many as five consonants in a row, in English, we’re typically restricted to three, like str in strict.

Vowels and consonants are oversimplified categories, of course—sounds are in reality more complicated than that. Take sounds like “s” or “z,” which don’t need to be broken up by vowels to continue. Are they vowels or consonants? You can say “z” forever. It’s the onomatopoetic sound of bees buzzing, to give just one example. These sounds are a subcategory of consonants called fricatives, made by pushing air through a very small space in your mouth.

88.25% | 174.25 lbs. (168.8 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 80.27% (293 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Food Challenge

2011-10-19T23:59:00.000-07:00

Will asked for cheese coneys from Skyline Chili last night. Mmm, that sounds delish! Well, I figured it was time to test out the new system. I ordered three cheese coneys, with onions and mustard, for him. I ordered *four* habanero cheese coneys, with onions and mustard, *and* an order of fries for me. I knew I was asking for trouble. And I figured if I was going to break some food rules I may as well go full tilt and maximize the taste along the way. I chowed down!

And nothing. Not even a burp. Or a toot. Not even a single twinge in the belly.

I'm not going to push it. I'm going to continue to eat with tepid apprehension. But it's good to know that there is at least one meal out there that I can throw down when I'm feeling like eating bad without gut-wrenching effects. Maybe more! We shall see.

Also want to take a quick moment to point out that I am exactly 80% through my New Years resolution to blog everyday with my 292nd post of the 365 days in 2011. It's been fun. Not sure if I'll keep it up in 2012 but perhaps I should.

88.25% | 174.27 lbs. (168.8 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 80.00% (292 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Things. Returning. To normal?

2011-10-18T19:58:00.000-07:00

Wake up too early. Shower. Dress. Let dogs out. Let dogs in. Feed cats. Take Will to school. Pick up sympathy cards. Go to dentist. Two cavities filled. Go to work. Get marching orders. Hit ground running. Busy, busy. Lead meeting. Send emails. Log on. Log in. Log off. Mix. Match. Rearrange. Listen. Rip. Burn. Discuss fish hygiene. Open. Close. Run. Stop. Restart. Update. Build. Deploy. Clean. Small talk with CEO. Send. Receive. Eat nasty Chinese "candy". Eat cereal. Deploy to Prod. Test. Success. Research. Analyze. Estimate. Leave work. Talk with stranger in elevator. Drive through downtown. Pick up Will. Go home. Eat dinner. Change into comfy clothes. Watch last week's House on Hulu. Watch last night's House on DVR. Tuck in wife. Let dogs in. Let dogs out. Check email. Sent email. Guess it's too late. Say goodnight to Will. Ponder tonight's activities. Log onto CoH. Log off. Open Warlords IV. Close. Decide to go to bed early. Must blog first. Beat. Tired. Sore. Sleep. Dream? (too early to tell)

88.25% | 174.29 lbs. (168.2 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 79.73% (291 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Top Ten Lessons Steve Jobs Taught Us

2011-10-17T13:57:00.000-07:00

I am republishing this list from Forbes in honor of both the passing of Steve Jobs as well as the inevitable passing of Papa Hayden - both on account of long, hard-fought battles with cancer:

1. The most enduring innovations marry art and science - Steve has always pointed out that the biggest difference between Apple and all the other computer (and post-PC) companies through history is that Apple always tried to marry art and science. Jobs pointed out the original team working on the Mac had backgrounds in anthropology, art, history, and poetry. That's always been important in making Apple's products stand out. It's the difference between the iPad and every other tablet computer that came before it or since. It is the look and feel of a product. It is its soul. But it is such a difficult thing for computer scientists or engineers to see that importance, so any company must have a leader that sees that importance.

2. To create the future, you can't do it through focus groups - There is a school of thought in management theory that - if you're in the consumer-facing space building products and services - you've got to listen to your customer. Steve Jobs was one of the first businessmen to say that was a waste of time. The customers today don't always know what they want, especially if it's something they've never seen, heard, or touched before. When it became clear that Apple would come out with a tablet, many were skeptical. When people heard the name (iPad), it was a joke in the Twitter-sphere for a day. But when people held one, and used it, it became a ‘must have.' They didn't know how they'd previously lived without one. It became the fastest growing Apple product in its history. Jobs (and the Apple team) trusted himself more than others. Picasso and great artists have done that for centuries. Jobs was the first in business.

3. Never fear failure - Jobs was fired by the successor he picked. It was one of the most public embarrassments of the last 30 years in business. Yet, he didn't become a venture capitalist never to be heard from again. He didn't start a production company and do a lot of lunches. He picked himself up and got back to work following his passion. Eight years ago, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and told he only had a few weeks to live. As Samuel Johnson said, there's nothing like your impending death to focus the mind. From Jobs' 2005 Stanford commencement speech:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

4. You can't connect the dots forward - only backward - This is another gem from the 2005 Stanford speech. The idea behind the concept is that, as much as we try to plan our lives ahead in advance, there's always something that's completely unpredictable about life. What seems like bitter anguish and defeat in the moment - getting dumped by a girlfriend, not getting that job at McKinsey, "wasting" 4 years of your life on a start-up that didn't pan out as you wanted - can turn out to sow the seeds of your unimaginable success years from now. You can't be too attached to how you think your life is supposed to work out and instead trust that all the dots will be connected in the future. This is all part of the plan.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

5. Listen to that voice in the back of your head that tells you if you're on the right track or not - Most of us don't hear a voice inside our heads. We've simply decided that we're going to work in finance or be a doctor because that's what our parents told us we should do or because we wanted to make a lot of money. When we consciously or unconsciously make that decision, we snuff out that little voice in our head. From then on, most of us put it on automatic pilot. We mail it in. You have met these people. They're nice people. But they're not changing the world. Jobs has always been a restless soul. A man in a hurry. A man with a plan. His plan isn't for everyone. It was his plan. He wanted to build computers. Some people have a voice that tells them to fight for democracy. Some have one that tells them to become an expert in miniature spoons. When Jobs first saw an example of a Graphical User Interface - a GUI - he knew this was the future of computing and that he had to create it. That became the Macintosh. Whatever your voice is telling you, you would be smart to listen to it. Even if it tells you to quit your job, or move to China, or leave your partner.

6. Expect a lot from yourself and others - We have heard stories of Steve Jobs yelling or dressing down staff. He's a control freak, we've heard - a perfectionist. The bottom line is that he is in touch with his passion and that little voice in the back of his head. He gives a damn. He wants the best from himself and everyone who works for him. If they don't give a damn, he doesn't want them around. And yet - he keeps attracting amazing talent around him. Why? Because talent gives a damn too. There's a saying: if you're a "B" player, you'll hire "C" players below you because you don't want them to look smarter than you. If you're an "A" player, you'll hire "A+" players below you, because you want the best result.

7. Don't care about being right. Care about succeeding - Jobs used this line in an interview after he was fired by Apple. If you have to steal others' great ideas to make yours better, do it. You can't be married to your vision of how a product is going to work out, such that you forget about current reality. When the Apple III came out, it was hot and warped its motherboard even though Jobs had insisted it would be quiet and sleek. If Jobs had stuck with Lisa, Apple would have never developed the Mac.

8. Find the most talented people to surround yourself with - There is a misconception that Apple is Steve Jobs. Everyone else in the company is a faceless minion working to please the all-seeing and all-knowing Jobs. In reality, Jobs has surrounded himself with talent: Phil Schiller, Jony Ive, Peter Oppenheimer, Tim Cook, the former head of stores Ron Johnson. These are all super-talented people who don't get the credit they deserve. The fact that Apple's stock price has been so strong since Jobs left as CEO is a credit to the strength of the team. Jobs has hired bad managerial talent before. John Sculley ended up firing Jobs and - according to Jobs - almost killing the company. Give credit to Jobs for learning from this mistake and realizing that he can't do anything without great talent around him.

9. Stay hungry, stay foolish - Again from the end of Jobs' memorable Stanford speech:

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

10. Anything is possible through hard work, determination, and a sense of vision - Although he's the greatest CEO ever and the father of the modern computer, at the end of the day, Steve Jobs is just a guy. He's a husband, a father, a friend - like you and me. We can be just as special as he is - if we learn his lessons and start applying them in our lives. When Jobs returned to Apple in the 1990s, it was was weeks away from bankruptcy. It's now the biggest company in the world. Anything's possible in life if you continue to follow the simple lessons laid out above.

Originally posted by Eric Jackson on Forbes.com

88.25% | 174.32 lbs. (169.2 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 79.45% (290 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

The Walking Dead Season 2 Premiere

2011-10-16T20:03:00.000-07:00

AMC's The Walking Dead series begins its second season tonight. I'm so excited :)

UPDATE (NON-SPOILER): OMG, that was a fun episode. And it ends with a bang!

Had a great dinner with Jooj's side of the fam at Havana Rhumba tonight celebrating Pat's 50th. The meal was hearty and filling, and while it did a small number on me it wasn't nearly as bad as many other foodstuffs I've put in my belly recently.

Going to the doctor tomorrow for a checkup. Then I'm heading into work. Going to see how well that goes. My energy is still in the tank but I'm just so ready to get back into the swing of things.

88.25% | 174.34 lbs. (169.8 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 79.18% (289 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

What I Can/Can't Eat

2011-10-15T22:06:00.000-07:00

Can:

Cereal, PBJ sammiches, snack mix (nuts, raisins, M&Ms), pudding, soup.

Can't:

Cheeseburgers (with and without bacon), frozen pizza, salad, swili (southwest chicken chili), grilled chicken sammiches, green beans, Wick's pizza, chicken patties.

Still going into coma after eating. I'm very concerned about that and will be the first thing I bring up with the doctor. I mean, it's one thing to not be able to eat what I want. It's another thing to go into a 3-hour coma every time I do. The bathroom part... well, that's a problem too.

Damn, I feel old. And broken. I think I'm a little depressed. I'm free of pain. I do have that going for me.

88.25% | 174.35 lbs. (169.0 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 78.9% (288 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Sleep

2011-10-14T23:25:00.000-07:00

Okay, so today is my first day totally off the pain meds. And today also marks a day that I really put my gallbladder-less body to the test with Wick's pizza. For some reason, after I eat big and/or nasty meals my body goes into this coma-like state where my stomach hurts and I get super grumpy. Not sure what's up with that - definitely worth talking to the doctor about.

Anyway, free of pain meds. Well, those things have been wiring me. So I got up and then went back down around 9am. I slept 'til nearly 1:30pm. Sat around most of the afternoon. We had Wick's for dinner. Hit the coma/hurt state. Went down at 8pm. Slept 'til 11:30pm. Dudes, that's 8 hours of sleep... *after* the 8 or so hours I got from the night before.

Now it's 2:15am in the morning and I'm still wide awake. Jeez...

88.25% | 174.37 lbs. (168.4 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 78.63% (287 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Hospital Bill

2011-10-13T19:56:00.000-07:00

My hospital bill came in.

Holy shit!

Twenty thousand one hundred sixty-six dollars and seventy-five cents.

$20,166.75.

Before I go into cardiac arrest, let's just wait and see how much insurance is going to pick up.

92.1% | 174.39 lbs. (169.8 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 78.36% (286 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Gallbladders and Gawd's Gifts

2011-10-12T23:59:00.000-07:00

Sick and tired of reading about me bitching and moaning about my seemingly endless road to recovery from gallbladder surgery? Amen, brothers and sisters. I am sick and tired of walking this road. I start to feel a little better, mostly weened off the pain meds, and then I eat something that the gallbladder-less body doesn't like and BOoOM - I am overcome with that sick, sleepy, hazy feeling that is followed by a long, burning, unsatisfactory sit in the bathroom.

Gawd blesses us all with unique gifts. Two she gave me were the ability to fall asleep immediately and the ability to have award-winning, rapid-fire, on-the-clock bowel movements. I fear that gallbladder surgery has forever ruined my latter gift.

92.1% | 174.41 lbs. (168.4 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 78.08% (285 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Fell asleep at the wheel today

2011-10-11T19:47:00.000-07:00

So if there were still any doubts I had about me missing anymore work they were squelched. I'm not ready to return - period. After a morning appointment with the dentist for a cleaning (2 cavities - grrrr!) I headed over to mom and dad's for breakfast with Babuke. I ate and sat for about 1/2 an hour. I was feeling a bit wiped out so I headed home. On the way, while stopped at a traffic light, I feel asleep. I woke to a green light, no cars in front of me, the car behind me honking their horn. OH JEEBUS!

I made it home and went right to bed, where I slept for 5 hours. I woke but didn't feel awake for the rest of the day.

I guess I'll be missing at least Wednesday, suffice to say.

92.1% | 174.44 lbs. (169.4 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 77.81% (284 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

I've run out of things to say

2011-10-10T23:18:00.000-07:00

How sad.

Looking forward to getting out of the house, going on adventures, and having new stories to tell!

92.1% | 174.45 lbs. (171.0 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 77.53% (283 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Sunday Updates

2011-10-09T23:59:00.000-07:00

Recovery from surgery is coming along I suppose. The incisions are ugly but are healing. I'm still sore. I still get tired very easily. I still have this bulge in the middle of my chest from the incision for the camera. My digestive system is still adjusting to dealing with intake with a missing organ. However, I'm so bored and so ready to get back into the action.

I'm revving up and hoping to get back to work later this week. Jooj let me do some grocery shopping yesterday. It pretty much wiped me out but I'm ready for more.

I have been filling my time with fun. I created a new Skirmish map for Warlords IV. And I scripted 4 custom quests. I love doing that stuff as much as I enjoy playing the game.

Speaking of games, I been getting back into City of Heroes. They are cranking out new stuff every week with this new Paragon Market system and it's such an exciting time to play. My buddies and sg mates missed me and are happy to have me back. Oh, and we beat our previous Hamidon record last night at 5 minutes 36 seconds. Twilight Avengers rule!

Lastly, what a weird day in football today. Vikings came out swinging. Buccaneers were crushed. Indy starts 0-5 for the only time I can remember. The L'ville Gunners in the GE league are going to lose. The Wyld Stallyns in the Genscape league probably will lose, and should by all accounts, but we're not quite out of it yet.

UPDATE: We lost.

92.1% | 174.47 lbs. (170.8 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 77.26% (282 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

This time last week...

2011-10-08T11:26:00.000-07:00

... my gut pain, after diminishing a bit in the morning, was cranking up to unbearable levels.

Wow. It's been a whole week since the Gallbladder Project began (my boss Eddie joked earlier this week that I didn't need to worry about the work being done in Oil IT and instead needed to focus my efforts on the Gallbladder Project... funny man). Time has simultaneously flown and crawled as I've struggled with boredom and play, all medically pain-free.

And do you know why I haven't had to worry about my day-to-day responsibilities and have had all of the necessary resources to focus on laying the fuck down (doctor's orders)? Jooj. She's been a super woman this week. She's stepped up like I never would have asked her. In my absence she's been Will's taxi driver, the zoo keeper, the errand runner, the garbage (wo)man, the gas fill-'er-up-er, and everything else that I normally do. She's done all this and *still* has made time to do what *she* normally does. And on top of that, she's been a pretty fantastic nurse (nothing kinky, you perverts!).

I've had the doctor call in another sortie of pain meds and Jooj says that Tuesday is the earliest she'll allow me back into the office. I drove a bit this morning and rode in the car a little after that. It pretty much wiped me out. So I suppose I'm not ready for the real world yet.

92.1% | 174.48 lbs. (169.6 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 76.99% (281 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Return to City of Heroes

2011-10-07T23:59:00.000-07:00

I logged onto City of Heroes tonight for Red Team Night - the first time I've logged onto CoH in 19 days. My fellow Red teammates, as well as my Twilight Avengers supergroup teammates, were all very happy to see me on. I was only able to run one TF with them (they were running the WTF twice last night) but had a good time during the time I was on. My old buddies Bender and Red were also on and happy to see me online. It's good to know people love you, even if it's virtual :)

I did stay on for a while and played with the new costume sets. I bought the Barbarian set and the Circle of Thorns set. I also purchased the new Street Justice and Beam Rifle powersets. I've got plans to create the following new toons to play:

Bella Muerte - a Necromancy/Dark Miasma Mastermind, she will command the dead and use her powers of darkness in the service of Arachnos (the bad guys). I'll eventually bring her over to rogue status and maybe even make her a hero.

William the Pleaser - a Demon Summoning/Time Manipulation Mastermind, he will command demons and manipulated the very flow of time. His name comes from the Tom Waits song "Lucinda"...

Well they call me William The Pleaser

I sold opium, fireworks and lead
Now I'm telling my troubles to strangers
When the shadows get long I'll be dead

Diego En Fuego - a Street Justice/Fiery Aura Scrapper, he is a mutant luchador who has left the wrestling ring to pursue the wicked and pummel them. I'll probably make this guy a vigilante.

Jello Shooter - an Empathy/Beam Rifle Defender, he will be my latest Hami toon (hence the "Jello" in the name - trust me, it's nerd humor at its finest) on the Pinnacle server.

92.1% | 174.50 lbs. (169.8 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 76.71% (280 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Am I taking crazy pills?

2011-10-06T21:24:00.000-07:00

What the hell did I even do today? I truthfully cannot tell you how I spent my day. I woke up. Ate breakfast. Took a pill. All of the sudden it was time for lunch. Talked FFL trades with Mike. Logged onto work. Nobody was around. Logged off. Ate lunch. Took a pill. All of the sudden it was time to get the fuck out of the house for once and go watch Will's football game. Game seemed to take forever and yet was over in the blink of an eye. They lost. Went to Walgreens. Went to St. X. Went home. Took a pill. All of the sudden it is midnight. What the hell? Where did the day go? Am I taking crazy pills?

92.1% | 174.52 lbs. (170.6 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 76.44% (279 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Popped Stitches, FFL, Pills, Warlords IV, Multi-Cultural Colored Pencils, Meatballs, Steve Jobs, South Park

2011-10-05T20:10:00.000-07:00

I slept in today. Still in pain. I guess I am the only person surprised by this. I don't know why I thought I'd just bounce back from surgery as if nothing serious had just happened. I need to get it through my head that I went through a pretty big deal this weekend. And I'm not just going to jump out of bed and be back on my feet.

Anyway, I got the morning off with some yogurt and granola and three crackers. While in the kitchen I thought I would help out by putting the dishes away. I got two plates into the chore when I felt a sharp pain in my belly after bending over. It burned and I just stood still. The pain subsided. I bruised up quite nicely afterward over and under my belly button. Called the doctor. They said that I likely popped a stitch. They said not to worry about it but to LAY THE FUCK DOWN.

Next up I checked on my FFL teams, the Wyld Stallyns (4-0) and L'ville Gunners (2-2). Waivers were processed and things turned out the way I wanted them to. I feel great about the Stallyns. Wish I felt better about the Gunners. Both teams are heading into a tough matchup this week. Is it nearly the weekend already? Sheesh!

By this point in the morning the pain meds are kicking in. Sweet bliss. I decided to only take one pill at a time. I don't want to burn through them too fast. And I don't want to find myself craving more when I do finish them. Besides, one should do it at this point.

Besides laying about and watching movies and TV I've been playing an old video game fave, Warlords IV. I don't want to play any modern video game and get all worked up. But Warlords IV is like a big ass board game, to be played at a leisure pace with time spent on strategy rather than madly clicking. Not as clumsy or as random as a shooter, but an elegant game for a more civilized age (subtle Star Wars reference... muwahahaha!)

Got a random email from a buddy at work. It was a picture of a pack of Multi-Cultural Colored Pencils on the shelf. Now the non-white kids can illustrate their ethnicity too. SMH.

Had meatballs, egg noodles, and green beans for dinner. One or many of those items did not agree with me. My stomach is still rumblin'-stumblin'-bumblin'. I may take another Protonix until my poor stummy settles.

Just found out that Steve Jobs passed away today. He'd been sick, waging an unsuccessful battle against cancer. He is as much responsible for my career choice as any other peer of mine out there. It is a sad day.

Lastly, the night ended with the new season of South Park beginning. It was a funny episode. Stan was mistakenly diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome after being inoculated for the flu. That's funny all on its own. But Cartman thought the disease was called Ass Burgers. Suffice to say, hilarity ensued.

92.1% | 174.53 lbs. (173.6 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 76.16% (278 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Crazy Hazy Lazy Daze

2011-10-04T23:40:00.000-07:00

Two days since gallbladder surgery. Two days since surviving unbearably, unbelievably unbearable pain. Two days of drug-addled, brain-numbing, pain-freeing, sleep-deprived daze. Alas, two days since my last significant bowel movement too.

During the course of my recovery I have come to realize that the Hydrocodone/APAP 10MG/325MG tablet serves as both my captor and my savior - both a source of torment and freedom. Under its influence I am able to function. I can sit straight up without discomfort. I can take deep breaths. I can walk up and down steps. These things are difficult without the pain-killing effects of the pill.

The pills hinder my cognitive skills. It takes so much concentration just to concentrate. I can't sleep soundly with them in my system. And they definitely are affecting my ability to shed weight. In the last three days my weight has sky-rocketed from 171.2 lbs. to 177.2 lbs. I obviously cannot exercise in my current shape but the "constipative" side-effects of the pill are disallowing proper "bodily flow".

In an effort to get some real sleep last night (and in a vain attempt to scoff at my dependency) I didn't take any pills before laying down after the Monday Night Football game. I slept hard. It felt great. So refreshing. However, the cold reality of the situation greeted me this morning when my body, devoid of pain-killing drugs, reminded me why the pills are both my friend and my foe. My incisions throbbed with pain. My chest hurt when I breathed. This cycle must be broken... now is not that time.

I loaded up on meds throughout the day. Eventually I hit a plateau of brain-numbing goodness that took the pain away again. I'm not a fan of this perpetual haze. This zany daze. This lazy craze. I'm sick of it. I just want to feel better... without the "help" of any medication.

I'm hoping tomorrow will be better. Maybe the pain will have lessened on its own. Maybe I'll poop. I want some sign that I'm returning back to the land of healthy, responsible adults.

92.1% | 174.54 lbs. (177.2 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 75.89% (277 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Annemarie and the Alligator

2011-10-03T03:38:00.000-07:00

In all of the excitement over the weekend I never took the chance to mention one of the oddest conversations I have ever had in my entire life. It took place at Jed and Vian's as we celebrated Vian's birfday with their friends Friday night - the same party we were going to when Jooj exclaimed "Oh my Gawd, that's Kelsey!!!"

We arrived and, to no surprise of my own, did not know anyone besides our kind hosts. We grabbed some drinks and sat down. Another couple sat down and engaged in conversation. They were very nice and the conversation subject was very light - what you would expect at a party of loose acquaintances.

After a short while a woman pulled up her chair an introduced herself. She asked me what I did for a living and I told her that I was Java programmer by day and an artist by night. "I pegged you as an artist," she responded. I'm not sure if she found the connection in me being an artist or if I just have that warm, welcoming smile that begs for others to entrust their secrets in me. But the next 40 minutes took me down a series of conversation paths that I never could have expected.

This woman's daughter, Annemarie, was also an artist. She had created over 400 pieces during her short career - drawings and paintings and sculpture. She had also posed nude as a means of making some cash on the side, much to her mother's chagrin. She was a graduate of Murray State and worked in a consignment shop selling vintage clothing in Tennessee after graduating. Annemarie was simply full of life and was most definitely the apple in her mother's eye.

In May of 2006, while visiting some friends in Florida and swimming in a fresh water spring, Annemarie was attacked and killed by an alligator at the age of 23.

I'm going to give that sentence its own paragraph just to let it sink in. How horrific? I can't even begin to imagine. What do you say to someone who says that to you? I did my best to lend a sympathetic ear as she spun story after story. She told me of the silly things people said to her at Annemarie's wake, of that fact that she never saw her daughter due to their inability to put her back together, of the petty consignment shop owner who wanted "that black dress" back, of the "visits" Annemarie made to friends after her passing, of how no one could tell her what Annemarie was wearing when she was cremated, of the premonitions Annemarie had of her own death and even the nature of her demise only weeks before it happened, of the support groups for parents who have lost their children that she still attends and constantly overwhelms with her story of loss.

I just did a little digging and found the story: Alligator Kills Woman

Well, gawddam, if it didn't happen in Ocala. I hate Ocala.

92.1% | 174.53 lbs. (174.0 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 75.62% (276 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

I lost something while I slept

2011-10-02T12:55:00.000-07:00

I took a nap this morning and woke up with something missing. My gallbladder!

Yep, fatty here is 2 oz. to 2.3 oz. lighter thanks to the kind Dr. Whitely and his staff. The nurses came to my room around 10:45am and I was back in my room, enjoying my first meal in 26 hours, watching the 1st quarter of the early football games a little after 1pm.

I'm moving around. I've peed. I feel pretty good. I just told (the lovely) Monica that I think I'd like to start the discharge process so I can come home to my fam (especially my ever-loving wife... who is beaming laser beams at me after reading what I just wrote about [the lovely] Monica).

Funny thing. A social worker came in to verify some information. When she walked in Jooj was nestled in bed with me. After asking for my personal information she then needed to verify my wife's. She turned to Jooj and timidly asked, "Are you his wife?"

I guess she had to ask just to be sure. But how awkward would it have been had I said that she wasn't? Teehee!

92.1% | 174.53 lbs. (???.? lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 75.34% (275 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

On a scale of one to ten? ELEVEN!!!

2011-10-01T23:59:00.000-07:00

Pain. Oh my Gawd - pain.

I've been through some painful episodes in my life. I suffered from migraines as a child. Those hurt. More recently I dislocated my finger. That hurt. When I was a child I smashed the tip of another finger off. That hurt too. In college I fell and broke my back. That really hurt. A nickel-sized wedge of pumpkin was lodged under my big toenail during a Halloween party (yeah, you read that right). That was some intense hurt. Four years ago I started suffering from burning abdominal pains. Those episodes were serious hurt. For serious.

I woke up with burning, gnawing pain. I took some medicine and went about my day. Jooj and I ran some errands, went to lunch, and come home to clean up the house. The pain returned. I took more medicine. This time, however, the pain did not cease. In fact, instead of subsiding it was increasing.

We struggled with the decision of what to do next. Ultimately, Jooj called our doctor and he asked us to go to the ER. Hells bells! Seriously? Shit, man. Isn't this weekend messed up enough already?

By the time I was being checked in at the ER my pain had surpassed a threshold of sustained discomfort that would have broken lesser men. On a scale of 1 to 10, the nurse looked at my body and my grimace and answered for me. Ten. I was writhing in pain for literally hours. Morphine did nothing. Please someone do something! On a scale of 1 to 10 I now had reached 11.

Some other injection put me in a place that insulated me from the pain. Hours went by. I slipped in and out of consciousness. Drank some contrast. Drank some Sprite. CT Scan. Another injection. Bliss.

"I have an answer," the nurse/doctor said as she walked in (I don't really know who was who). "You have gallbladder disease. You are filled with stones."

Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!?! SRSLY???? For serious??? Seriously serious?!!1!?!!1??!!?one?!??!

I'm typing that and I still can't believe it.

So I've been admitted. It's 2am and time for another injection of bliss. I need to find out what this stuff is and become a closet junkie. Muwahahahaha!

(I'm just joking, Mr. DEA... call off the dogs)

92.1% | 174.53 lbs. (171.2 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 75.07% (274 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

"Oh my Gawd, that's Kelsey!!!"

2011-09-30T05:42:00.000-07:00

Jooj and I were on our way to Vian's birfday party Friday night. We were on the expressway, I-64, heading west towards the Watterson. Traffic had slowed - typical for that stretch as new traffic patterns had introduced a treacherous bit of highway. Multiple car wrecks are unfortunately common for that segment.

I saw the blue/red flashing of a police cruiser up ahead and figured it was either a wreck or a traffic stop. As we drew near it appeared to have been yet another accident. As we passed, Jooj exclaimed:

"Oh my Gawd, that's Kelsey!!!"

Son of a... I yanked over and pulled into the emergency lane. I reversed until we were close to the accident scene. I don't know if I didn't want to believe Jooj or just flat out didn't. But my heart sank when I saw Kels' blond head in my rearview.

She was okay. All of the participants were okay. It was a four-car accident. Kels was the third in line. The back car slammed into her, pushed her into the car in front of her, and pushed that car into car in front of them. Her trunk was heavily damaged. Her hood and possibly her engine were also heavily damaged. The car looked terrible. They may possibly total it.

So she's upset but she is alive and breathing. I tell you, it was not fun going through that. As her step-father I felt shear terror thinking that she had been injured. Love ya, Kels!

92.1% | 174.54 lbs. (172.2 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 74.79% (273 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

401

2011-09-29T23:59:00.000-07:00

What a great day yesterday (so great that I failed to blog... however, with the new Blogger interface I can cheat and manually set the Publish time/date... muwahahahaha!).

The morning started off with breakfast with my grrrls (Jooj and Kels) down at Toast. A quick walk to work in the brisk morning air followed, interrupted by a stop into Muth's for 1/2 pound of yummy Modjeskas. The day continued with some small yet easily identified and fixed problems - cut and dry. A scheduled floor meeting followed, during which many good things were announced. The best news came in the form of a number - 401. The Oil group's growth in 2011 was 401%. Makes a man proud at the end of the day.

The day continued rolling along. Jooj came down to work to pick me up for the Saint X v. Trinity Freshman football game. Go Tigers! They won in an exciting victory, 24-21. We went to Papalino's for pizza afterward. Delish. Then we met up with some work friends, BD and Hills, for drinks at Napa.

All in all, it was a great day.

92.1% | 174.55 lbs. (171.6 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 74.52% (272 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Darth Vader, Single Spaces, Ambien, FFL, and Kels

2011-09-28T19:15:00.000-07:00

Remember back on August 29th when I mentioned, among other things, that my mom bought me a mylar Darth Vader balloon? And do you remember when I blogged that day that, after 2 months, it was still floating above my head. Well, make that three months. Seriously, you need a balloon, ask me. For serious.

Also, remember when I declared that I was never going to follow a period with two spaces ever again? Well, as it turns out, that has been a much easier habit to break than I ever would have imagined.

At my wife's suggestion I took an Ambien last night to help my spotty sleeping. After taking it she warned that I had about 15 minutes. Well, about 20 minutes later I didn't really feel anything... until I stood up. Whoah, bed time! Oddly enough though I kept waking up last night. So I supposed it didn't work. But then it came time to get up this morning. And that's when I noticed the effects. It took me forever to rally myself out of bed. And I had medicine head all morning. So no thank you, Ambien. Gawd gave me gift of falling asleep quickly and sleeping hard. I guess I'll work with what I've got and not mess with it.

Fantasy Football started - three weeks in. The Wyld Stallyns in the Genscape League are 3-0. The L'ville Gunners in the GE League are 1-2. One of those teams I'm very proud of.

Lastly, Kels is home for Fall Break. She came over for dinner tonight. I'd love to pretend that I'll see her more than that but I doubt it. Still love her!

92.1% | 174.56 lbs. (171.8 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 74.25% (271 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

The Haps

2011-09-27T19:40:00.000-07:00

So enough with these cryptic, one-word entries, right?

Jooj and I got into a big fight. She asked that I not blog. So I tried to sum up the following days (well, previous at this point) with a single word that conveyed my feelings or actions on that day. As information has trickled out to our friends and family and loved ones I think many people have heard pieces of the story of what's going on. Well, with Jooj sitting at my side, we're here to set the record straight (and let me continue to use multi-worded blog entries).

As married couples sometimes do, we got into a big nasty fight. Some ugly things were said and feelings were hurt. Ultimately, over the course of the last 10 days or so, we've decided to do our best to work things out. She and I have continued to live under the same roof. We still love each other very much. She and I are speaking with a counselor together. She is also seeing someone individually. We know what is at stake. We love our kids, our families, our lives, our pets (except Toby), our house, and the whole enchilada. So we are going to fight to find that understanding that will allow us to get back into each others arms for good.

I love each and every one of you very much (yes, even you weirdos that anonymously read my blog even though I may not know you... and especially you, future self - hey there, buddy!) and hope that our bickering hasn't hurt anyone else out there. And I hope reading this entry puts a few hearts at ease.

This whole ordeal has wrecked my sleep. And let's not even begin to talk about my 14-year old complexion. My stress has decreased so my stomach has gone from "full of razors" to "full of knots". I've also heard through the grapevine that the fam took Thanksgiving away from us. Oops! Lastly, for the record, I'm not growing a beard - I'm just not shaving.

On a happy note, I'd like to welcome wee baby Flora into the world. Congratulations, Patrick and Brigid! We love you!

92.1% | 174.57 lbs. (172.0 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 73.97% (270 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Care

2011-09-26T18:34:00.000-07:00

care [kair]

noun
1. a state of mind in which one is troubled; worry, anxiety, or concern: He was never free from care.
2. a cause or object of worry, anxiety, concern, etc.: Their son has always been a great care to them.
3. serious attention; solicitude; heed; caution: She devotes great care to her work.
4. protection; charge: He is under the care of a doctor.
5. temporary keeping, as for the benefit of or until claimed by the owner: He left his valuables in the care of friends. Address my mail in care of the American Embassy.
Synonyms: administration, aegis, affliction, aggravation, alarm, alertness, anguish, annoyance, anxiety, apprehension, auspices, bother, burden, caution, chagrin, charge, circumspection, concentration, concern, conscientiousness, consideration, consternation, control, diligence, direction, discomposure, discrimination, dismay, disquiet, distress, disturbance, effort, encumbrance, enthusiasm, exactness, exasperation, exertion, fastidiousness, fear, foreboding, forethought, fretfulness, guardianship, handicap, hardship, heed, hindrance, impediment, incubus, interest, keeping, load, management, meticulousness, ministration, misgiving, nicety, nuisance, onus, oppression, pains, particularity, perplexity, precaution, pressure, protection, prudence, regard, responsibility, safekeeping, scrupulousness, solicitude, sorrow, stew, strain, stress, superintendence, supervision, sweat, thought, tribulation, trouble, trust, tutelage, uneasiness, unhappiness, vexation, vigilance, ward, wardship, wariness, watchfulness, woe, worry,
Antonyms: carelessness, disregard, ignorance, inattention, neglect, negligence, omission, oversight, thoughtlessness

(We are under it and it must be taken going forward.)

92.1% | 174.58 lbs. (172.0 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 73.70% (269 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Priority

2011-09-25T19:41:00.000-07:00

pri·or·i·ty [prahy-awr-i-tee]

noun, plural -ties for 2–4.
1. the state or quality of being earlier in time, occurrence, etc.
2. the right to precede others in order, rank, privilege, etc.; precedence.
3. the right to take precedence in obtaining certain supplies, services, facilities, etc., especially during a shortage.
4. something given special attention.
Synonyms: antecedence, arrangement, crash project, greatest importance, lead, order, precedence, preeminence, preference, prerogative, previousness, rank, right of way, seniority, superiority, supremacy, transcendence
Antonyms: unimportance

(One step at a time.)

92.1% | 174.60 lbs. (171.6 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 73.42% (268 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Discretion

2011-09-24T21:54:00.000-07:00

dis·cre·tion [dih-skresh-uhn]

noun
1. the power or right to decide or act according to one's own judgment; freedom of judgment or choice: It is entirely within my discretion whether I will go or stay.
2. the quality of being discreet, especially with reference to one's own actions or speech; prudence or decorum: Throwing all discretion to the winds, he blurted out the truth.
Idiom
3. at discretion, at one's option or pleasure: They were allowed to work overtime at discretion.
Synonyms: acumen, attention, calculation, canniness, care, carefulness, chariness, circumspection, concern, considerateness, consideration, deliberation, diplomacy, discernment, discrimination, foresight, forethought, good sense, gumption, heed, heedfulness, judiciousness, maturity, observation, perspicacity, precaution, presence of mind, providence, prudence, responsibility, sagacity, sense, shrewdness, solicitude, tact, thoughtfulness, vigilance, wariness, warning, watchfulness, wisdom
Antonyms: carelessness, indiscretion, thoughtlessness

(Know the how behind the why of the what, when, and where.)

92.1% | 174.61 lbs. (170.4 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 73.15% (267 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Dismay

2011-09-23T20:24:00.000-07:00

dis·may [dis-mey]

verb (used with object)
1. to break down the courage of completely, as by sudden danger or trouble; dishearten thoroughly; daunt: The surprise attack dismayed the enemy.
2. to surprise in such a manner as to disillusion: She was dismayed to learn of their disloyalty.
3. to alarm; perturb: The new law dismayed some of the more conservative politicians.
Synonyms: abash, affright, agitate, alarm, appall, bewilder, bother, chill, confound, daunt, discomfit, discompose, disconcert, discourage, dishearten, disillusion, dispirit, disquiet, distress, disturb, dumbfound, embarrass, faze, flummox, fluster, foul up, frighten, get to, horrify, louse up, mess up*, muck up, mystify, nonplus, paralyze, perplex, put off, puzzle, rattle, scare, screw up, shake, snafu, take aback, terrify, terrorize, throw, throw into a tizzy, unhinge, unnerve, upset
Antonyms: assure, encourage, make happy

noun
4. sudden or complete loss of courage; utter disheartenment.
5. sudden disillusionment.
6. agitation of mind; perturbation; alarm.
Synonyms: agitation, alarm, anxiety, apprehension, blue funk, blues, bummer, chagrin, cold feet, consternation, discouragement, disheartenment, disillusionment, downer, dread, dumps, fear, fright, funk, hassle, horror, letdown, panic, terror, the blahs, trepidation, upset
Antonyms: assurance, confidence, encouragement, happiness

(I awoke to it, was faced with it in the morning, and ended the day struck with it by the words I heard.)

92.1% | 174.62 lbs. (170.4 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 72.88% (266 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Villain

2011-09-22T21:16:00.000-07:00

vil·lain [vil-uhn]

noun
1. a cruelly malicious person who is involved in or devoted to wickedness or crime; scoundrel.
2. a character in a play, novel, or the like, who constitutes an important evil agency in the plot.
Synonyms: antihero, blackguard, brute, caitiff, creep*, criminal, devil, enfant terrible, evildoer, heel, libertine, lowlife, malefactor, mischief-maker, miscreant, offender, profligate, rapscallion, rascal, reprobate, scoundrel, sinner, wretch
Antonyms: hero, heroine

(I am truly a good and honest person but after tonight I will forever be remembered as one.)

92.1% | 174.64 lbs. (171.2 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 72.60% (265 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Accord

2011-09-21T06:47:00.000-07:00

ac·cord [uh-kawrd]

verb (used without object)
1. to be in agreement or harmony; agree.
verb (used with object)
2. to make agree or correspond; adapt.
3. to grant; bestow: to accord due praise.
4. Archaic . to settle; reconcile.
Synonyms: 10-4, accordance, concert, concord, concurrence, conformity, congruence, correspondence, deal, good vibes, good vibrations, harmony, okay, pact, rapport, reconciliation, sympathy, treaty, unanimity
Antonyms: antagonism, denial, disagreement, dissension, opposition, refusal

noun
5. proper relationship or proportion; harmony.
6. a harmonious union of sounds, colors, etc.
7. consent or concurrence of opinions or wills; agreement.
8. an international agreement; settlement of questions outstanding among nations.
Idiom
9. of one's own accord, without being asked or told; voluntarily: We did the extra work of our own accord.
Synonyms: accede, acquiesce, admit, allow, award, bestow, concede, confer, endow, give, present, render, tender, vouchsafe
Antonyms: argue, challenge, deny, disallow, disapprove, oppose, question, refuse, withhold

(At certain levels it has been reached in the house.)

92.1% | 174.66 lbs. (170.2 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 72.33% (264 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.

Calamity

2011-09-20T10:21:00.001-07:00

ca·lam·i·ty [kuh-lam-i-tee]

noun, plural -ties.
1. a great misfortune or disaster, as a flood or serious injury.
2. grievous affliction; adversity; misery: the calamity of war.
Synonyms: adversity, affliction, blue ruin, cataclysm, catastrophe, collapse, cross, curtains, distress, downfall, hardship, holy mess, misadventure, mischance, misfortune, mishap, reverse, ruin, scourge, the worst, trial, tribulation, unholy mess, visitation, waterloo, woe, wreck, wretchedness
Antonyms: advantage, blessing, boon, comfort, fortune, good fortune, good luck, happiness, joy, profit

(We are amidst it and further instances of it struck.)

92.1% | 174.67 lbs. (171.8 lbs.) | 16% (8 of 50) | 72.05% (263 of 365) | 102/55 lbs.